mE mYsElf & cAsPoW ^-^

2006-11-22T04:52:00.000+08:00

2006-09-14T21:33:00.000+08:00

hmmm... Went to visit my aunt these 2 days.. Felt sorry 4 her.. Struggling in pain, yet she doesnt wanna go yet.. Struggling so hard to make every minute count.. She's nt too old though.. only 59.. Looking at the situation, i cant help but kept thinking.. wat if tat is my mum?

Life is so fragile.. during chinese new yr, my aunt is still ok.. in a shortspan of 6mths, she's lying on the bed struggling to stay alive.. Maybe her biggest regret is not to be able to see her only son get married.. I start to think to myself.. Have i spent enuff time with my parents? Have i treat them well enuff? Have I been a gd son? Have i neglected them?

The answer is no to all... I hardly ever spend time at hm.. the only time i'm at hm is sleep.. i hardly ever get the chance to chat with them.. maybe less than 10 sentence a day? sometimes, me and my dad don even get to see each other. haha.. goodness gracious... and yup.. i didnt treat them nicely at all.. i am rude to them.. and at times, so disrespectful.. to them, i am deemed as the black sheep of the hse.. i am the only one who got caned in sch b4. i am e only smoker.. e only one retained.. the only guy who dyed hair b4.. the only guy with piercing.. i and the only child in the family whom did not graduate frm a govt uni.. Haha.. I always get very hurt when i learn hw useless i am in their eyes.. hw much i have disappointed them.. But i realised.. its my own fault to make them feel this way..

I remembered my bro, Wong said this to me b4.. 'y wanna continue like this with your dad? how much time more do u have with them?' this struck me tat time.. but i slowly forgotten it.. but nw, i hope i wont.. this time rd.. i want to do well in my studies.. my last chance frm my dad.. i cant disappoint anymore.. like he told me.. i am the only 1 left in the family tat they are still worrying abt.. i must deliver.. Nothing's gonna come into my way.. What i am doing nw will determine my next 5-10 yrs of my life.. i cant be a kid anymore.

2006-08-13T11:39:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. had a fine day yest.. had an outing with some old frens.. did chill abit.. like usual..walking ard aimlessly.. cannot decided on where to go.. finally settled down for a drink.. maybe we juz don feel like gg hm.. The process of this outing was made comical by lotsa incidents.. haha.. made me rem the gd old times.. Suddenly it occured to me that time flew.. Some ppl ard us changed.. Some struck by bad karma.. But itz still gd to reliesh such gd moments with these gd old frens..

realised that itz been so long since i last blogged.. Ppl may wonder y? actually i dunno.. I realised i don have the patience to complete my blog.. i realise there's nothing much to be posted.. i realise i dun have time to do such things.

well.. karma is a strange thing.. i realised itz juz like a boomerang.. those things that i've said abt others, done onto others seem to hit me back like a boomerang.. The similarities so familiar that it seemed so freaky to me.. itz like god want me to learn my lesson. Tat sometimes i shld undersstand other ppl's circumstances. and don instill wat i think into others. cos it doesnt work and that sometimes it cause a strain.. like my good campmate used to tell me.. we can advise others but we cannot tell them wat to do.. haha.. i shld start learning..

haha.. welcome back pang.. congrats to u too.. curious animals! u can juz approach him

ciaoz world..

welcome to my life

2006-06-04T12:44:00.000+08:00

*shakes head*

1st thing 1st.. i wld like to apologise to steph.. sorry gal.. i wasnt able to attend ya 21st bday party and i'm definately sorry that i didnt even notify u. I hoped u had a great 21st bday.. and nt like me.. i didnt even get to celebrate it. 21 yr old liaoz. grow up le. cannot think like a little gal anymore. hee.. alrite. once again happy birthday. we will see each other soon.

2nd thing i wanna highlight. to a fren of mine. KA. I noe u are very affected.. in this world, there's really no such thing as balance or equal treatment. u do something, u cant expect the same in return. The world is unfair 1 la. itz either u are at the recieving end or the giving end. So chill.

Hmmm.. juz wanna say.. to everyone, wat is happiness? or rather hw do we archieve happiness? or hw can we make our life happy? hmmm.. to me, i try to think of the positives.. cos i noe.. when one keeps thinking abt the negatives and cannot put those negatives behind their back, these negatives will juz keep on accumulating. Snowballing effect.. gd things are easier to forget.. bad things aint.. but if we keep thinking abt the bad things and nt the gd ones, hw can 1 be happy? easier said than done.. but itz not unarchievable. wats the pt of taking all the bad things out and keep talking abt them? it only makes life more miserable.. the old phrase..'let bygones be bygones'.. but once again, eaiser said than done.. finally.. whether one is happy or not. depends alot on individual. the way we think. and the way we look at things.

hence i conclude.. happiness is up to us. whether we want it or nt. Ppl can try to make one happy, but ultimately if one doesnt wanna be happy, den no matter hw much other ppl try, itz futile.. do u agree with me my dear readers out there?

2006-05-24T15:25:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? WHY WHY WHY? FUCK THE WORLD. TO HELL WITH ALL.

2006-05-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

well.. didnt really have much to do.. decided to blog again.. hmmm.. watched some movies.. Lie with me, da vinci code and over the hedge. Let me juz give reviews to these movies since i dont really have much to do..

Lie With Me
Well.. Itz was dubbed as the most erotic R21 movie ever screened.. True.. this movie is all abt sex.. nothing but sex. sex anywhere.. anytime.. Sounds exciting? trust me.. itz not... i was told by a fren, 'wah this show will set ya heart pumping'... apparently, it did not.. I actually felt the movie 'keeping mum' by rowan akinson turned me on more... LOLz.. Well this is a show for ppl who like cheap thrills..
My words: 1/5

Da Vinci Code
Its so funny how my good fren jx can come up with all the sex themes for these movies... Like poisedon can become pussydon and da vinci code becomes da pussy code. LOLz.. quite amusing.. i am waiting for him to change mission impossible to mission impussyble.. LOLz.. This movie is alrite..Itz juz like memoirs of the geisha, black hawk down, etc.. once u read the boOk, u will find that the movie is nt as good... but still one of the better movies of the late
My words: 3.5/5

Over the Hedge
Well so much cartoons came out this yr.. ice age 2, chicken little, the wild and nw over the hedge.. They all are so similar.. as in the wild, and over the hedge is so similar.. same as finding nemo.. but still all the cartoons are ever tat funny.. lame maybe.. but i still prefer the good old nemo.. it was quite original.. but overall over the hedge is still a movie for cartoon lovers!
My words: 3/5

Hw can i ever make u believe tat all i've said is true.. Hw can i.. Pls believe me..

2006-05-15T16:57:00.000+08:00

well well.. didnt noe i will blog again so fast.. kinda free on a monday.. i came to realise that after i ORD-ed, no amt of sleep is enuff for me as i keep feeling very tired.. well.. lets see.. oh ya! movie review!

Poisedon
Well i watched this movie over the weekend.. To be honest with u, when i 1st saw the title, i wasnt too fascinated by it.. but after seeing rave reviews abt this movie from the papers and thru frens, i decide to watch it.. It was a short movie.. 1.5hrs.. But i wld say, itz worth every single penny.. Its non-stop action rite frm the start... Action juz keeps coming and coming non-stop.. And itz a typical movie with a main hero who never dies and another hero that sacrifaces... etc etc.. itz typical, but we simply juz love it, don we? Gd movie.. gd effects.. i wld rate it.. 4/5.

Hmmm these 3 days for me has been fantastic.. I enjoyed every minute of it.. i felt so happy.. thanks baby.. Its great.. I dunno wat else to describe this feeling.. Itz totally over the moon..

hmm.. In life.. hw many regrets do we have? Issit only thru losing, den we will start to learn abt cherishing.. In life, when we said we tot it thru when we make certain decisions, did we really tot it thru? was those tots clouded by emotions? Hw many times in life when we make a decision tat we regret, and when we try to salvage it, itz too late.. When things happen, hw many times we pointed fingers at others instead of pointing fingers to the problem.. Recently, i saw something happened. Though i hate to see it, but i forsee it coming.. I juz hope for the best for them.. and hope they grew from there.. hope they will do some self-reflections and see wat went wrong.. so the nx one coming wld be a better one.. i wish your all the best..

2006-05-12T11:40:00.000+08:00

Hi everybody.. its been more than 1 mth since i last post.. juz to tell your, i'm not dead yet.. haha.. Lots of things happened and lots of things passed.. juz wanna say sorry that i'm too busy to make any post.. Lets see wat are the significant thngs tat have happened..

Oh ya! i got my pink IC.. At 1st i tot i wld be damn excited abt getting it or that i will be damn excited leading another kind of life.. oh well.. i'm wrong.. I didnt feel a shit.. Maybe i already started leading a civilian way b4 i ord.. People say u wld get sad when u leave the camp.. Surprisingly, i didnt feel a shit.. Itz gd to be part of the cdo.. it is something that will always make me proud and a benchmark in my life.. For honour and glory..

Hmmm.. well nothing much really happened after this.. my gd bro pang left for US for 3 mths.. well the outing was gd.. the drinking session was gd.. gd luck to u pang.. bon voyage

Nx.. oh ya! i recieved letters from SMU and NUS.. once again.. their replies were: 'pls fuck off, u r juz not good enuff' alrite... seems like i am destined for SIM.. alrite.. so be it.. life goes on..

Lastly, to 'it',

i'm so sorry.. i've got no other choice.. u juz came at the wrong time.. a lot of times i tot it will be great to include u in my life, but i cant.. cause it will cause too much complication.. sorry u muz go.. pls forgive me..

2006-04-02T09:28:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. well.. a big sorry for my supporters.. Sorry i havent been updating.. To be frank. Life's been busy.. And there's so much emotional rides during this period of time.. Well... Lets juz start everything from my birthday.. Here it goes..

Well.. Went to Bintan for a short trip during my birthday.. Itz was yet another fantastic trip with baby.. And i love it! We didnt really do much.. Juz went there.. Relax.. walk ard the resort and the beach.. and yea fuck! the beach is tar-infested.. KNN!! The sea wasnt as clean as i imagined.. The food wasnt as nice as i feel it wld be.. The things there wasnt as expensive as i tot.. Well.. Saw woodlands wellington there! haha! Saw Agu Casmir.. The black who was all over local papers.. However this short trip was definately worthwhile... It gave me a break frm my busy working life.. guess wat did baby gave me for birthday? Motorola V3~ Haha~ Thank u! muackz! And thanks to JX for the pouch u gave me~ Well.. As we grew older, the no. of ppl wish me happy birthday grew lesser.. But i guess tats juz life.. Haha.. Well there r some who really surprised me.. Let me juz name them out bah. These are the ppl whom sms me happy birthday:

1) Ronggui 0000 (so timely.. came as a shock to me)
2) QQ 0250 (quite expected)
3) Weiyi 1316 (expected.. but caught me while i'm bathing)
4) Jian Xiong 1425 (expected)
5) Pang (expected and thanks 4 asking me out)
6) Wen Xian 2057 (think u only msg me after u saw me rite? LOLz)
7) Cheekin 2057 (Totally surprised.. Thanks)
8) Wenjie 2247 (expected)
9) Steph 1423 27 MAR (abit expected)
10) Tay Kong Ren 2249 29 MAR (better late than neva)

Haha.. i wld like to say thank u to all these ppl.. u guys made my day.. and my birthday.. And ya chee kin ya sms did surprise me.. Prolly one of the biggest surprise i have recieve on my bday apart from the V3 i recieved. Thanks. Did bring smile to me on my bday.

But well.. God is fair.. He wont give u gd time everyday.. After fun time, itz pay back time! Well.. immediately after we came back, we learnt the news that baby's mum went to hospital.. she was a bit shaken by it... den tues came.. i cleared my IPPT, but i cant get my pink IC.. cos BSO is fucking in thailand and i dun have his fucking signature.. and cheif clerk fucking dun wanna clear me.. CB!! Bo bian.. wait for hhim come back lo.. Den recieved letter frm SIM.. i got accepted.. Talk to dad abt it.. He said he's not paying.. and he gave me a lecture.. and oso a guai lan attitude.. fucking dulan..den the nx day, suffered another rd of lecture by mum.. some of the things they say are damn hurting.. knn.. hw to tahan.. and i've been thinking hw... wats life if i cant pay the fees and cant go to local uni.. wat will life be? was thinking abt it all the time.. and ya.. den some more things happend.. made me even more upset.. and when fri comes, i finally cannot take it.. i flared.. but i am neva hard-hearted.. it resolved finally.. now still pondering hw.. 040406 is the deadline le.. i dunno wat to do.. kNN..

2006-03-24T01:23:00.000+08:00

well.. itz been so long since i last update.. been rather busy.. with work and in life.. have officially ord on papers.. but yet to take back pink IC.. cos of some reasons.. gonna be my bday soon.. happy bday to me.. gg bintan with my baby.. anwyay, i'm so tired.. ciaoz world

2006-03-06T12:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday Lyrics

by Beatles

Yesterday
All my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday
Came suddenly

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Why she
Had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say
I said
Something wrong now I long
For yesterday

Yesterday
Love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe
In yesterday

Yupz.. Yesterday.. All my troubles really seemed so far away.. I only wanna believe
and remember yesterday.. But today, i need to find a place to hide away.. Away from
wat it is today.. maybe i did something wrong.. maybe i said something wrong.. i
dunno. but i do long for yesterday..

2006-02-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

Haha.. Itz been so long since i've send in a proper post.. I can barely remember the things that happened since my last post.. This few weeks wasnt easy 4 me.. Bad times juz kip coming and coming and coming.. phew.. finally, it stopped 4 a while.. Hope it never comes back again.. Alrite.. Lets see.. wat r the highlights of my life since my last post? Oh ya!

Valentine's Day~
Alrite.. I believe many ppl went out to resturants to have dinner.. Bringing their gal to a romantic place.. Etc. etc.. But 4 me, my valentine's day is nt a single bit romantic at all.. Well.. we juz had steamboat at my hse.. No ques, No troubles, No hassles.. I bought movie tickets for my parents to help them celebrate vday itself, and oso that me and her can have a world of our own.. But the most funny thing abt this steamboat is that haha.. our parents were more anxious than us.. buying so much food and cooking so much soup for us.. In the end, the 2 of us cant even finished half the food.. LOLz.. though itz juz a simple celebration, i guess, itz still fun.. hmmm.. Many would have bought expensive gifts for their gal on this day.. but mine is damn cheap..maybe less than 30cents? LOLz here it is..

Haha.. How's it? Took me a few days as i'm not a born artistic person... This my my Valentine's Day 2006

Hmmm... Well..wat other things happened during this period of time? yeap fuck! I took my SOC twice!! The 1st time, organised by my own corhort people, i tot this is it! i am gonna pass it!! Cos i am gonna 'game-shark'.. Yupz i did 'game-shark'.. But the timing on my watch was ard 8min57s.. the guy in front of me is juz 2-3s ahead of me... guess wat.. the result came out.. i got a big F! 9min18s was the timing.. CCB!!! And on paper i was behind the person infront of me by 14s... KNN, how can that be? surely cock up with the timings... in the end, guess wat was the outcome? RETAKE... ccb.. i so reluctantly wanna retake it.. but lan lan bo bian.. nver pass, cannot ORD.. So i took.. But in the end i took, and i am so glad i passed! 8min19s.. i really ran till i vomitted.. i reach end-point and i vomitted.. FInally!!!!!! No more SOC for me!!!!! ccb.. i told myself i dun wanna retake it anymore.. everytime i run this, i can feel my heart stopping.. feel myself dying.. Finally itz all over!!!! yeah!!!!

hmmm.. wats the nx highlight of the day...Oh.. itz WJ's birthday.. Yeap.. Saw his new gf in real life for the 1st time.. To my surprise, she's from jjc, but i dun think i ever saw her b4.. Yeap she's really sweet to organise the kampong hut thingy for him.. And that she took time off her work to make all this happen.. Guess she shld have scored somepts in her report card.. hehe.. hmmm.. but really a bit boring there.. Took a pic..

Happy birthday to Wenjie once again.. Hope u had an enjoyable bday..

The nx highlight of my life...~*Drumroll*~ thats none other than my ORD parade! Hee! I remembered the time which i saw my parent company 5th company's ORD parade, i told myself.. If only i did not disrupt, i wld have been there.. Then i saw my seniors, 2nd Company's Ord parade, i witness those who went to taiwan and fought together with me gonna ord.. i wished i was part of them... Finally my turn has come.. It was a gd parade.. But itz a pity that i wasnt with my former platoon mates.. It was a pity that from medical center, only me and 2 other guys participated in the parade.. I tot i wld be filled with emotions after the parade.. But surprisingly, i did not.. I juz heaved a sigh of relieve that everything's gonna be over soon.. But nonetheless, itz 1 of the 2 parade which i want to participate so much in my NSF life.. 1 is my red beret presentation parade.. And yupz.. this one.. My ORD parade.. In No.1...

My supporters

My Comrades

Haha..These r some of the pics i taken.. if u guys wanna see more, your can click here.

Well... going back to take my IPPT tml and continue to do my clearance.. Hope everything can go smoothly.. The tough times have mellowed down abit... Hope it will continue to be better and lasts longer.. Thats all folks..

2006-02-20T12:51:00.000+08:00

Click Me!!!

2006-02-13T11:35:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. These few days didnt go easy.. 'LOST' may be the word to describe my present state.. I dunno wats gg on.. I dunno wat to do.. I dunno why.. I dunno how.. I juz wish someone can come over lift me up... And tell me all wld be fine.. will somebody pls teach me wat to do? i'm at my wits end..

Thinking back, and looking at the present, i realised hw much i've changed.. There are things in the past which i tot i will never do..but i did.. there both gd and bad sides in this statement.. dun wish to say anymore.. dun wish to elaborate anymore..

i'm trapped.. and itz scary..

2006-02-04T11:40:00.000+08:00

In my life, i dun really see much gals cry in front of me b4... However, seeing them cry, does make me feel 'xin suan'.. Yest, i recieve a call.. From a fren.. She was crying.. I can feel the sadness in her.. The thousands question marks in her mind... The unlimited amount of 'whys' floating in her head.. She dunno wat to do really.. Neither do i noe wat to say so i wldnt hurt her further..

In my opinion, she's a very gd gf.. She gave all she can.. There's nothing she wldnt do for her bf if itz within her ability.. She love her bf very much.. Sacrificing so much that at times, she lost so much things.. She lost some of her good frens.. Make her relationship with her parents sour.. Sacrificing her time for him.. Going at all distance and lengths for him.. And wat did she derserve? A boot outta the guy's life...

I wondered... How many good guys or gals will cross our relationship paths in our lifes? Why issit that some ppl do not cherish wat they have? And when they lose it, they start regretting.. This is the funny nature of life..

Anyway, i wish this fren of mine well.. And hope she wldnt do anymore silly things 4 him anymore.. Juz wanna say he aint worth it.. There r so much betta things outside in this world..

Wooh.. Finally, i think i have finished getting all my CNY ang baos.. woof! This is the best yr i had... Maybe this yr i am extra hardworking? haha.. Alrite.. Nothing much happened this week... I will be starting work on monday.. wed and thurs gg back camp.. hehe.. Enjoying my life as a civilian so much!

2006-01-30T12:38:00.000+08:00

Hm.. always wanted to blog things down, but always too busy to do so.. and now, i have forgotten a lot of things which i wanted to blog down.. so.. argh.. fuck it..

tus i think i went back camp 4 cover.. shld have went back on thurs and fri too.. But i decided nt to go back as i suspect the cover which i am doing is already cancelled without notification.. indeed.. it was.. So i guess it wasnt tat big of a gamble afterall..

wed acc baby to a fren's bday.. at pasir ris chalet..

thurs, 1st time went on a afternoon shopping.. i think itz been so long since we've went out gai gai so early in the day.. den go her hse watch a walk to rem.. Well.. itz definately nt a walk for me to rem..

fri, went sentosa to have a BBQ.. Me and her reunion.. LOLz.. so shoik.. the whole siloso beach like no one.. and i was wondering to myself.. wah kaoz! i really long time neva come sentosa liaoz ah! nah beh changed so much! But i'm still good! i remembered the way to walk back to the entrance from siloso beach.. thanks to the past yrs of nw yr celebrations there. But this time, the company was diff la.. And i love this diff feeling..

sat had reunion dinner.. fucking i hate to eat reunion dinner outside.. i wld rather eat at hm.. simple meal, where whole family can sit down and talk cock and eat together.. den after that i went to chinatown with baby.. we say fireworks at our bustop.. den we fucking got caught up in the squeeze in the pasar malam.. SHUT UP.. i know those seeing this muz be thinking we are stupid, BUT WE R NOT.. cos we knew all these, juz go there 4 experience.. do u have tat experience? thats the 1st time i did that in my life and thats gonna be the last time.. ya! juz remembered that i saw a funny sight at purmei.. i saw someone living in 109 with a gal.. LOLz.. itz up to ya imaginations

sun went for visiting lo.. cb sianz.. i hate visitings.. den nite went baby's granny's hse for dinner.. fuck man.. her uncle is a joker lo..tgt with her dad, these 2 bros can crack some really lame jokes.. -_-" After tat went to watch 'i not stupid 2' I think my parents need to go see this show..

Anyway, i realise i havent really wish u guys a happy chinese new year.. so here itz is! Happy CNY!! Gong Xi Fa Cai!

2006-01-23T15:34:00.000+08:00

55 more days to ORD~
Basically, after this week, i will be outta camp for a very very long time.. Gonna attend civilian conversion course.. Well, after i ORD, i face another problem.. My income will be affected.. There goes my $740/mth pay.. Hw to survive? Another headache is my future man.. Will nus and ntu finally accept my application? God damn it..

Anyway, chinese new yr is on the way~

This yr, like so fast.. In the past, i always seem like i have a lot of time to prepare for CNY.. but this yr... like so rash.. i havent even done my own packing up.. but oh well... itz ok.. it will be done soon..

Finally, my life has calmed dwn a bit..

watched memoirs of the geisha.. quite a nice show.. worth the money..

thats all folks..

2006-01-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

Well friends.. 60 more days to ORD..2 more mths.. So near yet so far.. I simply cant wait for that day to come.. I really dread this place a lot..

Well, looking ard me.. Looking at my frens from other units who's gonna ord ard the same time as me..They all look so happy.. They look like they have completed their service even thier ord date is still mths away.. I look at my fucking army life..Fucking i felt like staying away from this fucking place. Itz so chaotic in here.. Full of evil people.. Full of ppl with grass growing in their brains.. Ppl with low IQ who thinks that he is very smart.. Ppl who noes no shit, trying to tell ppl wat to do.. Ppl who vowed to protect us, but i cant see any actions.. God dammit.. i feel so like saying my tots abt the things happening in camp on this blog.. But considering the fact that i am linked to Hendon Medical Center No.1 Blogsite, i decided nt to risk getting charge..

And in my personal life, itz been a roller coaster ride.. And the ups and downs juz keep coming.. I am afriad i cant take it anymore and puke anytime..(FYI: I suffer from motion sickness) Getting so much stress from NS, i wld have hope my personal life wld be good.. Juz when i need my life to be calm, all areas of my life juz seem to be turbulating..

Well, i tot of something when recent incidents happen to me..

Anger is like a pail of water.. When we flare our anger, itz juz like splashing the water out.. When this happen, some of the water mite juz wet some ppl.. Sometimes, a person mite get drenched if the person gets all the water.. Well, water does evaporate.. Ppl will get dry again.. But wat if the water is coloured? And stains were left behind? The worse thing is.... We can never retrieve this water we splashed out..

Hope u guys get what i mean..

Recent incidents made me tot of these few words.. And my tots of them..

1)Anger
It is the root to all troubles..

2)Compromise
It seemed to me that almost everyone has a 'kiasu' character.. They juz dun wanna lose.. They juz wanna win everything.. And hence, compromise is such an easy word, but such a difficult thing for ppl to do even they think itz so easy..

3)Tolerance
I realised that between ppl, alot unhappiness can be avoided if one is more tolerant.. It is the enemy of anger.. It brings happiness and harmony.. And trust me.. My tolerance level has improved a lot.. But it doesnt mean it wont wear out..

4)Harmony
It comes when compromise and tolerance work hand in hand..

Hmmm.. I decided to bury myself in work..(sth which i havent done in a long time).. So some ppl will juz shut their mouth.. And i will leave this place without guilt.. And oso to keep myself occupied so the the turbulance in my life wld calm down..

I rem my seniors said this when they r abt to ord.. I think u all are gonna suffer.. Well, let me say this to my juniors... Your are gonna suffer even more..

*grinz*

2006-01-08T18:33:00.000+08:00

Well.. Went back to camp after such a long lay-off.. Went for my ATP.. As my 1st yr, there's another story behind my this ATP again. This time rd, the ATP wasnt like the past, where u have lotsa practise and retests.. And test till u get marksman.. This time, i only have 1 practise and 1 real test for both day and nite. KAOZ! The nite shoot i got 10/12.. i was disappointed not to get 12/12 as i hit my 1st 10 shots.. god damn it.. LOLz.. but the practise nite shoot, i only got 5/12.. so good improvement.. den came the nx day.. the day shoot. My weaker component. I got 7/16 for the practise. LOLz.. But i got 12/16 for the real test.. I dunno i got 12/16 initially. Cos there were targets which i hit and never go down. Me and the conducting saw it hit, but i juz counted it as a miss.. in the end, i tot i got 9/16.. So dissapointed not to get a 2nd chance to shoot.. Bcos i know i can do it.. Den came along LTA Gurmeet.. he told me i got marksman.. haha.. i tot he was joking.. i went to check with other officers. They all said i got marksman.. And the score was 22/28.. juz nice for marks man.. LOLz.. my 1st yr, i oso got 22/28 SHOIK!! YEAH!~ got my CNY angbao bonus~ 200 bucks~ woo~

Sat, met up with my purmei frens for dinner as it was yy's bday.. WOO! i saw a full purmei force.. Haha.. 10+ ppl.. goodness.. Itz been a while.. Well.. Like i expected, nt everyone stayed for the whole thing. Many went hm halfway.. And well, there's one particular person who spoilt everything.. I shall nt mention names... hmm.. It wasnt that bad i suppose.. I mean the whole thing.. Itz been a while since things got like this.. I wldnt say everything went back to normal again.. But i wld say things improved.. Still, there were so much infernal affairs.. Quite sucky.. But went to yy's hse to play and drink.. Wah lan.. Do your noe hw king kong died? It died bcos of women.. Yesterday i understood y.. I nearly got killed by baby.. I drank till whole face turned red.. Like i always wanted to say.. I'm weng kong.... Not yet a king kong.. But oh well it was fun.. Seeing the leg-scratching act by pang.. Wong being the victim of sabo again.. And yy, like me, getting slaughter by her gal.. LOLz..

Well gg back camp soon.. FUck man.. got a MMF cover at 3.45am.. ccb... everytime on leave come back, will kena such nonsense.. den hari raya got duty.. No offs to compensate.. sibei sianz... still need to endure approx another 3 more weeks b4 i can start clearing leaves.. God damn it.. NVM...

Countdown to ORD... 70 more days

Thing to clear b4 ORD
1) IPPT
2) SOC
~~3) ATP~~
~~4) Unarmed Combat~~

2006-01-04T14:43:00.000+08:00

Well... gg back camp today.. Finally.. after so long of leave and offs.. Met up with weige, kenny and jx.. So long since we've met up ever since every one's attached.. play abit of mj and talk a bit of cock.. Haha.. And yupz.. i have uploaded my Msia trip photos in my multiply.. Thaats abt it~.. Hendon.. Here i com

74more days to ORD.. SHoik..

2006-01-02T13:32:00.000+08:00

Happy new year everyone.. 2005's gone.. 2006's here.. time flies.. i bet this must be on everyone's mind..Well.. i went to east coast to welcome the new yr.. Had a mini bbq with my baby and 2 of her frens.. I didnt really enjoy it.. Its not bcos that itz boring.. Its not bcos her frens are uninteresting ppl.. Itz juz tat i was be occupied with someting. In fact, the BBQ was quite fun.. Cos i did a lot of things i dun normally do.. Buy food from giant.. marinate the food.. chop the food.. wash the food.. set up the fire.. cook the food.. haha.. but well.. i didnt do this all alone.. most parts i did it with my baby.. I realised BBQ is nt juz abt eating afterall.. Itz interesting and fun.. but my mood wasnt there.. Like xmas, i tot abt hw i spent my last 5 nye.. It was always with the same grp of ppl.. Maybe i've grew so used to celebrating with them that it looks like a routine to me.. However, this routine was broken. nye was always the day which i am most looking forward to.. Like last yr, i volunteered to do xmas duty so i wont kena new yr. Maybe itz their company that made me love nye so much... This yr, something's juz missing

Well, did look through some of the blogs of theirs.. well.. seeing them still hanging ard and their bonding still so strong, i cant help it but thinks of the past.. incidents like this which i'm involved... and yupz its always saddening to find out that i am being omitted nowadays.. Whenever i see my baby and her frens talk abt the past, i wonder to myself.. who do i have to talk abt the past nw? Nvm.. enuff of bitching..

A fren of mine sent me this song.. though it dosent say wat is gg on, but itz reflects hw i feel..

Nickelback
Lyrics - Photograph

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red?
And what the hell is on Joey’s head?

And This is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneakin’ out

And This is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must’ve done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it’s too late
Should I go back and try to graduate
Life’s better now than it was back then
If I was them, I wouldn’t let me in
Oh oh oh
Oh god I, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I Had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Goodbyyyyeeee

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hanging out
They said somebody went and burned down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we’d know
We said someday we’d find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim’s the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She’s had a couple of kids since then
I haven’t seen her since God knows when
Oh oh oh
Oh god I, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it

I miss that town
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It’s hard to say it
Time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it
It’s time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me.

Well.. i decide to change this song.. into my own version..

Looking at these photographs
Everytime i do, it makes me laugh
How did my eyes get so red
And wat the hell is on Ow's mind?

Purmei is where i grew up
I dunno who fixed this place up
I never knew i would meet them here
The affinity is hard to sneak away..

The court is where i met them.
Most of the times we will still meet there
My records say we've met there many times
But we must have done it a hundred times

I wonder if itz too late
Should i go back and try to salvage
Life's better now than it was back then
If i was them, i wldnt let me in

Every memory of looking out at the window
I had the image of us happily together at the court
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of looking at the hillock,
I had the image of us sharing our down times at the altar
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Goodbyyyyeeee..

Remember the RC
Splash every single drop of water we found
The commitee hated us there
They said someone went to flood the RC down

We used to go to the KTV
And sing along with every song we'd know
We said someday we'd find our love one
To go out happily together with our gals along

Baby's the gal i ever loved so much
I felt so lucky that i nver missed
We've been together since
But i havent seen them since god knows when
Oh oh oh
Oh god I, I

Every memory of looking out at the window
I had the image of us happily together at the court
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of looking at the hillock,
I had the image of us sharing our down times at the altar
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

I miss the times
I cant believe it
So hard to say
Too hard to leave them

If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out at the window
I had the image of us happily together at the court
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye
Every memory of looking at the hillock,
I had the image of us sharing our down times at the altar
Its hard to say it
I dun wanna say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
Every time I do it makes me.

Looking at this, i realised i forgot my New Year Resolutions
1) Get into Local Uni
2) Get my Car license
3) Good fortune
4) Go more holidays
5) Chu ren tou di
6) XXX
7) YYY

I will stick to lucky 7 like YY.. As for XXX and YYY, i prefer to keep it within me.

Happy New Year!

2005-12-29T14:27:00.000+08:00

Finally, i'm back from msia, truly asia... Seriously speaking, there are so much things to do over there than in singapore. U want nature got nature. U want urban got urban..A very gd break from army.. Army sux man.. Had a quiet and enjoyable xmas with my baby..

Went to cameron to spend our xmas... Its a pity we didnt get to eat any exotic xmas dinner... But we ate steam boat at the cool temperature there~ shoik! LOLz.. And oso, the tour guide gave us an early xmas present by forgetting to collect our cash for the tour! wahhhahah! The 1st day, we took a cab down to one of the village.. We agreed with the cab driver that he will come pick us up at 10~ and we will pay him after that.. We went eat our steamboat, walk ard the night market and chill at secret recipe.. Den 10 came.. We waited at the petrol station for the cab.. The whether is freezing.. we waited 15 minutes, still no signs of that taxi.. kaoz.. knn... My baby was shivering in the cold liaoz man.. I was nt that cold becos i was turning into human torch mode... wait till 10.30 still havent come.. the wait was aganoising. Den we decide to hail our own cab.. The freaking cabs there are damn little! And heard that most cab drivers stop work at 10. NNB... How sia? We came up with lotsa ideas man.. But in the end, we saw 1 cab alighting to pick his intended customer... i ran up and ask him whether he can come pick us up after he send his passengers.. He was very polite and said yes.. 11.20, he really came back! Well, at least not all cab drivers are fuck-up... But guess wat? We didnt pay that arse hole the money for sending us down~ wahhahha... another present.. Well, go back going to be 12 soon.. So wait to see wat kind of celebrations they have.. Nothing.. everyone was like waiting for things to happen.. Well.. a quiet xmas.. an ideal xmas for me.. Finally.. no more lonely xmas..

Merry Christmas

Well, on xmas day itself, we went for the tour.. Not bad la.. Very nature... Lotsa things to see... But fuck! No strawberries to pluck! Cos too much visitors liaoz during peak period.. So.... all kena plucked liaoz.. Damn.. During the nite, went to another town.. ate abit.. walk walk abit.. den go back hotel prepare ourselves for KL..

Wah! KL's jam is horrendous.. Make my blood boil.. But when we reach our hotel, Berjaya Times Square, i wad dumbfounded... wahhah... the hotel is a fucking fucking big hotel!!! bigger than the whole taka! and it has i think up to 50 floors... Woo! And when i saw the room, i felt like a king! Itz a suite~ Heard abt it from my baby, but both of us neva experience it b4.. so... wah shoik! got tv, hi-fi set, sofa-couch, dinning table, everything la! Like a mini apartman..shoiik.. haha.. Den nite went to shop ard at Lot 10 and Sungei Wang.. Sungei Wang is like sg's far east.. haha..

Den went KLCC the nx day.. Wah lan eh.. itz damn beautiful.. Damn big.. Too bad cant get tics to go to the towers.. Got lotsa sale.. But i feel, everytime if u go there, sure got sale 1 leh.. haha.. Alrite.. den nite went chinatown for dinner... fuck man! the seafood bbq which i ate 2 mths ago was gone!!! hw can that be?! itz crazy man! 2 mths ago i juz ate.. but nw itz not there anymore.. in the end, juz settled for the zhu chao over there.. it sux.. Den went sungei wang again for my shopping...~

The last day, stayed back at berjaya times square.... Went to take the indoor roller-coaster ride.. den actually wanna go shop ard there... itz fucking huge there..but... due to unforseen circumstances, things didnt go exactly as planned.. And i will stop here for my truly asia trip.. LOLz.. I wish we can stay there like tat forever.. LOLz..

For all who wished me a merry christmas when i was over at truly asia, i wish your a merry xmas back..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking back on the xmas i have, this is prolly the best i have bah.. Well.. reading ard and looking hw others spent their xmas, it made me realised i have lost something.. i tot itz not impt to me anymore.. but hell no.. FUCK.. whenever i see somethings or some ppl, i cant help but keep thinking abt the past... I realise that for celebrations, itz never hw u celebrate it thats gonna be fun and memorable.. Itz who u celebrate it with..

2005-12-19T01:10:00.000+08:00

1st things 1st.. I wld like to thank a few ppl.. YY, MX, JX, JX's gal and Pang.. Thanks for attending my gf's bday.. Due to limitations to the no. of ppl able to attend, the location and considering the situations, i am sorry for many whom i didnt invite. Hope u guys understand. And hope that for the ppl whom attended, hope u guys werent bored..

P.S Thanks for the special gift.. We wld have prefered something more interesting.. *winkz*~

To yy.. I want to tell u that looking at the past, there are really a lot of fond memories.. Memories so gd that itz never gonna be forgotten.. But wat are memories? Memories are the past.. We are facing the future.. Like i say in previous post.. Sometimes things are very simple. But humans complicate things. I agree with wat mx says.. Our age add together, itz close to 45.. Precisely the case.. We are no longer child anymore.. Thats why we find it more diff to express ourselves.. Not like child.. 1 minute say dun fren u, another min, lets be frens again. Not like child, juz show our emotions as and when we like. When we grew up, we have our own sets of principles, own sets of thinking, our own world. To be honest with u, itz nt going to be easy for things to be same again.. But well, i'll try.. But things take 2 hands to clap..

Had a tiring week... doing a lot of work in camp.. Fuck man.. I am having infernal affairs in camp.. CCB.. KNN.. i dunno who to trust.. i dunno who are my frens.. i dunno who are my enemies.. i dunno wat i shld say.. i dunno wat i shldnt.. Knn.. One of my boss, 'Durai'.. ccb.. he's a fucker.. knn.. evil fuck.. he wanna kill my another boss, 'standing'.. After lying down at bcs 1 day, i suddenly tot abt the situation and uncover durai's evil plan.. every thing makes so much sense.. and the stoopid 'standing' still dunno wat the fuck is going on... doing chicken little dance and building a poor rapport with his man.. His dead la.. Dead shit..

finally.. gg malaysia liaoz.. for my xmas.. been looking so forward to it.. No more lonely xmas.. :)

talking abt xmas, my xmas for the past 4-5 yrs or so didnt really have anything to rem abt.. well.. spent last yr's xmas doing duty... 2003's xmas was funny with some pics and videos.. really interesting.. funny and memorable.. 2002.. think i went milk bar and my fren tim suan was dead drunk.. 2001 i forgot... 2000, i was working.. LOLz.. sux rite?

Anyway, gotta leave for msia, truly asia.. cya guys soon...

Merry Christmas...

2005-12-15T13:19:00.000+08:00

I juz realised after so long, i havent really blogged abt my bro's wedding.. It was great... Its nice to see that he has a bunch of good brothers who helped and supported him during his wedding. From the morning, to church ceremony, to traditional wedding dinner, his bunch of frens stood by him and helped him all the way.. Be it being usherer, chaffauer, recerptionist, etc. They did well to bring the mood up.. I can see from my bro's eyes that he's a happy man.. And finally, on his 2nd official relationship, he got married... Itz kinda heart-warming to see ya elder bro wed.

LOL, i got a 50 dollars angbao for 'jing ca'.. wah lan.. so shoik.. And i wore a blazer for the wedding dinner. My mum was the main attraction.. Keep changing clothes. Like she's the bride.. LOLz.. Finally at the dinner, i saw some my biao ge, biao jie, biao mei and biao di.. Itz been 5 years since i've seen them. My biao ge ever that short, my biao jie is still ever that fat, my biao mei is still ever that pretty and my biao di has finally maturing into a man. Haha, only tru conversations did i know we have so much catching up to do.

Well a preview of the future bride and bridegroom..
Preview of the future...

Well.. time flies.. to be honest.. my bro has done his duty as a big bro when i was small.. he's great.. and we do share a lot of fond memories of the past..

Bro congrats to u.. and hope to see my nephew soon. HAHA!

2005-12-13T02:26:00.000+08:00

well.. cant get to sleep again.. so decide to type something out here.. this is my 102nd blog.. To be honest, my blog has caused quite a stir with some of my friends, my camp superiors and even ppl i care.. At times, i really felt like quitting this fucking thing... But i'm always sticking onto the com whenever i can.. And i am nt exactly a person who writes a diary on a book or something.. So i decided nt to be a quitter.

I realise in life, u win some, u lose some. One cannot be always winning.. And i felt there are so many tests in life which god planned, to make us a better person in life.. At times, they make u reflect on yaself. At times, they make u regret on things u've done so u wont let it happen again. At times, they make u lose impt things so u will start cherishing. At times, they will make u correct all ya flaws so u will be a better person.. And all these lessons come with a hefty price.

Some ppl understands each test fast.. Some takes a longer time.. Some may retake these tests a few more times than others, some may nt.. But ultimately, god still wants us to learn our lessons. Some learn it thru the hard way. Some learn it the easy way.. Some learns it thru multiple hard ways.. But watever it is, if we do learn, god's goal is met. everything happens for a reason.

Things we do always have a cause and an effect. If the effect doenst turn out well, it may turn out to be tat there's something wrong with our efforts. But if we keep thinking that itz every other things fault instead of ours, we r actually quite a poor learner. And i admit that i do belong to this catagory at times.

Haha.. i realise that IQ alone is not enuff to survive in this world. We muz have a gd mix of IQ and EQ.. And if a person have low IQ and EQ, he's screwed.

Maybe this might sound naive and stupid. But i'm wondering why life cannot be simple? Why is there always so much clues, hints that we need to catch? Isnt it tiring? And sometimes, we r juz nt smart enuff to catch them.. And when we dont, we r screwed.. I do lost some precious friends like this.. And asked why i dun do anything abt it? Cos i'm tired... Cos the fucking problem with the world is that people are juz not frank enough.. And the best thing is we cant fault this fault! Cos circumstances have caused this to happen.. And that almost every single mother's son is like this and we have to cope with it. And this fatigue will juz keep going on with us, till we die.. Thats only when, we can finally REST IN PEACE.

Life's not from a book. Which we can study and do well. Or which we can put in a lot of effort and score well.. Itz complicated..

To all my avid readers out there.. This post is juz 4 reference.. It doesnt possess any significant meaning.. Juz my tots abt life.. So juz read it with an open mind. I hope it do give u some tots abt your lifes too...

Welcome to the World of Caspow.

2005-12-09T17:26:00.000+08:00

Another week has passed.. Not much really happened in my life this week... So i dunno where to start to update also..

Well.. as usual, i will start from camp.. Finally back to Hendon after a long layoff.. Heard so much abt things happening there during my absence. Finally endured my week there.. The moment i step back into medical center, i recieved a shock.. It was so untidy, people taking beds out from sickbay and sleep in docu, ppl doing consecutive duties, etc.. But well i remain upbeat and positive. Guess wat.. I was shot the 1st day i went back camp... A jump cover at 0300hrs.. Well, i kinda expected that.. Den guess wat, i had to do duty on tues... Wed came, my dear senior medic hasnt plan out the fucking duty yet, and ask me charlie mike (do again) den whole morning only me and another guy running the whole fucking place. Den luckily he relieve me off my duty.. But the morning was bad.. Didnt even have time to smk.. Den finally got time for a break, went behind medical center to smk.. KNN so zhun fucking RSM walk pass.. CB jitao tio fuck by him till siao.. Go into medical center and make a din. Den i was shot with another cover on thurs.. a river crossing cover.. KNN.. but in the end, i swoop with 1 of my junior, QW, cos if i dun swoop with him, he will be doing duty for 3 consecutive day. Judging from all these shit, u can know how fuck up the management is at Hendon Medical Center. Looking at my senior medic, i dunno wtf is he doing this week... 1stly, he didnt go for mission.. 2ndly he didnt get those essential stuffs done, eg rations for mission.. 3rdly, he didnt plan the fucking duty properly at all! Oh well.. i nearly forgotten.. there's another issue i wanna raise up.. My juniors juz came back from mission on thurs, fri, he made them run, and go 4 jump.. Crazy fuck.. why nt ask him try doing all these after 3D2N mission. And ya.. he's one dangerous guy.. Act friendly to u, brother brother, behind u, fucking stab u like fuck.. Wah lan... NNBCB.. But luckily, on a postive note, i saw another Doc Jeff in the making.. The only light left shinning in the Med Ctr.. And tats our new MO, Ah GU! (Ngu).. haha

Alrite.. Phew.. finally let out my grievances.. Ok.. Now, to soccer! Seems like Manchaster United being out of Europe has caused quite a stir.. For once, i felt sad for man utd.. I felt a pity 4 English Football.. Cos i tot i can finally see all 4 english teams qualifying for the play-offs for the 1st time. but well.. Football is juz so unpredictable. I too felt sad for their manager, Alex Ferguson, for the 1st time in my life. He brought all the glories to Man Utd.. He made them who they are today, and now, he is facing the prospect of being sacked... I realised that in life, ppl only tends to remember the bad things more strongly than the good things... and one wrong can overwrite 10 rights. Its a sad fact, but itz true..

My bro's getting married tomorrow! Dunno how it will go.. Ha! But my fucking pimples outburst i acquired from australia didnt seem to recover at all.. FUCKED UP! Nvm.. Being so handsome already, a little flaw wont do much harm...

And these few days, my mood is fucking bad... i dunno why oso... every little thing juz pisses me off.. everything juz seemed so irritating to me.. everything bad tat happen seemed doubly bad... Felt so lethargic.. Juz feel like sleeping... And the cramps are killing me.. Issit bcos of my period? LOLz.. i was joking abt the last 2 sentences. haha. Well thats all folks.. Shall update more after tml..

2005-12-04T13:56:00.000+08:00

Well.. this marks the last day of my off after i came back from Aust. I enjoyed this long break very much. And make me feel the 20 days at aust was quite worthwhile afterall. And this is my century blog post. HaHa. Quite a milestone. Yeapz. Of course happy things and unhappy things happened during this period of time. But still glad things ended in a happy note.

One of the happy thing was that i passed my Advance Theory. Like my Basic, its another 1 shot 1 kill thing. And i am quite proud that i passed it without much knowledge of driving, cos i havent learn a single pratical shit yet. And looking back at the time which i study 4 it, the conditions wasnt really favourable. Itz was hard to study in those circumstances and i had say ard 2days to finish all that shit. But i'm glad i made it. Cos i dun wanna go back and retake it. Somtimes somethings, do it once, do it good can already. Besides, i've IQ 180. So itz all natural i've passed.

Well, Dec is gonna be a very very busy mth 4 me. Nx week, my bro's getting married. The week after nx, itz my baby's birthday. And after that, itz my msia trip... Woo~ packed with activities and excitement. Hope that by gg back tonight wldnt ruin my mood 4 dec.

Baby.. i am so glad that i've spent so much time with u this 1 week or so. Though things did happened, i am glad that everything's fine again. There are somethings which i felt so happy abt.. I dunno hw to say to u.. To me, itz a big thing. Haha i noe u will start probing me abt it when u sees this.. Haha.. Love ya and will miss ya when i book in.. Muackz muaclz~

2005-11-28T15:05:00.000+08:00

Its good to be back again.. Well, during my trip to Aust, seemed like a lot of things happened ard some of my friends. Some seems gd.. Some seemed bad.. For those good things that happened to some, i congratulate them and wishes them the best.

To tough: well.. after wat i heard from u, i seriously think itz time u make a brave a decision. Itz easier said than done. but well... wat i can do is hear u out and give u suggestions. Everyone has their own world. We cant teach them or tell them wat to do. We can only suggest. Ultimately, i still give u my well-wishes.

To cinderella: aiyo so sorry was in aussie.. cant wish u a happy birthday on time. Haha. So coincidence, my bday tat time i was in taiwan, nw ya bday, i'm in aussie. But still hope tat u had a great bday. Wishing u all the best in ya exams are gd luck in every aspect of ya life.

To stephie: Haha.. saw ya tag.. Read ya blog.. Well.. Seems like gd things r revolving ard u again. Nice to see that. And well..Thank u 4 ya comments and praises of my gf. Well..u r nt the 1st that says that.. And we 2 know that too.. but itz always still nice to hear them from other ppl. haha. And ya.. everything happens 4 a reason. Like i read in 5 persons u meet in heaven, there's a saying like this.."The end of something is the beginning of another thing.. Juz that we dont know it yet at tat time".. Haha.. And ya.. i still remb wat and say.. And is still sticking to it.. "being fat is a sin" or "fei jiu shi yi ge zui". but still i think still can be done 1 la.. TRY HARDER! haha..

Oh well.... 111days to ORD.. Shoik.. hm.. to a fren who had his bday on the day i came back. Happy birthday.

2005-11-26T15:32:00.000+08:00

Well friends.. i am finally back from Australia.. Itz a fuck-ed up trip.. Fucking go there on the 4th... only starts doing my job on the 17th... And the whole trip there, i only really did my job once.. Lets 1st talk abt the things that happened there..

Well... EX Wallaby.. I've never really seen vehicles, tanks overturned b4... Well.. In Aust, there were actually 4 cases of it.. And i was involved in one of it.. Some of the accidents that happened were quite serious.. Some were minor.. The one i experience was a minor one... The one i experienced had 4 vehicles crashing onto each other.. I was sleeping in my land rover.. Den i heard ppl shouted for medic... den i jumped out of the rover, i saw an ang mo lying on the ground.. he tells me he cant breathe.. FUCK! But i did some checks on him... he seems fine.. And yup.. Right i was.. he was standing up smking 10 minutes later... There was another guy got hit in the face. Left side of his face was swollen.. Bleeding from nose and mouth.. LOLz... And when i was treating him, i actually ordered some of the officers and senior spec to do things.. i only realised their rank when i finished treating.. LOLz.. Well... This incident struck my mind.. This is so close... Cos the accident happen juz behind my rover.. say.. 2 metres away? I tot to myself.. Fuck.. Life is so unpredictable.. Do those buggers noe such things gonna happen to them? Do they know when such mishaps gonna befall on them? Are they prepared for it? If worse case came and took their lives away, will they rest in peace? 1st time i starts to treasure life more..
Well at Wallaby, i finally saw hw other units function.. I used to thought my unit was lousy enuff.. but guess wat.. the other units are FUCKED UP.. Totally SCREW UP.. Their plannings are poor... efficiency was poor.. exercise was poor.. senior commanders can dunno wat the fuck is going on.. Key appointment holders can dunno wat the fuck is going on.. screwing each other on the coms... Even on the big day itself when VIP came, they still can screw up.. FUCKED UP. PUI..

Anyway, during the time there, i read 2 books... Black Hawk Down.. and 5 person u meet in heaven.. Black Hawk Down was good.. But there were simply too many characters in it. And i cant remember all.. 5 person u meet in heaven is an average book... Not so nice... But some of the things said are worth thinking at..So this year, i read 3 books... Da Vinci Code, Black Hawk Down and 5 person u meet in heaven. Shoik.. I am proud of myself.

Well though the R&R was only 1.5 days, it was good... Had fun.. But back in the mind, i kept thinking.. If i got to do all this with her instead of SAF, wldnt it be better? Haha.. Generally, i tot the aussies were friendly ppl.. And in some sense, they are quite funny.. heard abt some racism thingy.. But havent really experience them there..

Lotsa things happened when i was there.. Some, i hated it.. Some nearly killed me..But oh well... its good to b back to the place i call home..

Well baby... Itz good to be back.. Gd to feel u in my arms again.~ Love ya~

2005-11-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

Finally, I'm leaving for Aussie tonight.. This feeling is damn fuck up. I DON WANNA LEAVE!!! *slaps myself* Why did i volunteer to go in the 1st place..... But nevermind.. What is done is done.. Juz hope for the better.. Alrite, now, hear my say.

To my friends who's having exams now.. I wish your good luck in ni men de exams. Pls do study hard. Will try 2 meet your after i come back from australia.

To C, glad tat had a little chat with u today. Finally i can say wat i wanna say to u. Hope u do understand and forgives.. I wish u gd luck in ya future endeavours. Well though he might have said certain things to u, but i can feel inside his heart, he dosent mean wat he says. What i believe is that his thoughts and actions were swayed by anger... and by those ppl who thinks they know alot, those ppl who always think they are always right.. those who assumes..(but in actual fact they are a greenhorn at it) What i can say is that nw, a lot depends on him and u. Itz up to him ultimately whether to trust his own feelings or trust the advice of others. And oso, if u really want wat u want, u need to take some actions. "some" depends on hw badly u want it... Sorry.. i cant elaborate. I hope u do understand wat i mean.

To W, I dun know if u ever reads my blog. But watever the case is, i will juz pen down my thoughts here. Well dude.. I am truthfully and sincerely very sorry abt what happen in the past. If ever one asks me whats the thing i regret doing most, i wld tell them itz wat i have done onto u. I know asking forgiveness is too much. Cos i put myself in ya shoes.. If i were u, we wldnt even be on talking terms. I've finally come to understand a lot of ya difficulties in the past. Trust me on that. : ) Wo ren ming le. Wo bu hui zai ask for more le. Even if we are juz being artificial friends nw, itz better than enemies. Alrite.. A piece of advice from me. U may think i am crapping rubbish again. But hope u wld juz give a tot to it. I hope u will trust ya own feelings.. Ya own thoughts.. ppl can give u advice.. But does those ppl really know the situation and hence give u an unbiased view? Ultimately, it depends on YOU. Cos i've been tru once. I took my fren's advice. and i screwed up big time a certain thing. Thats y, i believe itz our own decision tat matters, cos no one knows our own situation better.

To some ppl whom i used to be very close to and loves to ghost ard my blog and gives stinging comments at the back.. Can i consider that backstabbing? Yupz sorry.. i am wrong to your again... Srry Mr RIGHTS... Mr Rights, what i wanna say is that, i swear to god i wasnt angry with your at all or did i ever gave your an attitude.
To one of the Mr right. Let me give u a description on who u are. U are nt very tall.. Big sized.. U know who u are. Well i wanna say is, after the last incident, and the stuffs that u told me, i really felt that i let u down. But i gave a thought abt it. If u were nt so full of yourself, and thinks that all the god damn thing u think is right, i wld have done something. And yea.. Thanks for telling me wat u and the other Mr Right tot, and the comments made by your. Well.. Even if wat i pen down in my blog may sound contradicting, and yes u keep asking me to consider ya feeling.. U keep thinking i am unapologetic.. and have u ever give me a chance to talk after u ssaid so much to me? All u think is that i am trying to win the argument. Crazy. But did it come across ya mind that if u have always hold a some ppl so high in ya heart, but discover that u were a fool and that these ppl are talking behind ya back. How will u feel? Oh.. forgot to describe another Mr Right. U are short. Acceptable built. A person who cant walk out of ya past. Well.. Both Mr Rights.. I wld have appreciate it if your wld come and tell me wats wrong straight in the face. Rather than treating me like an idiot. Expects me to find out wats wrong and see wat i am gonna do abt it. Come'on dun u 2 think thats gal's behaviour? Be a man la. Nt happy abt wat juz say. Dun need act and behave like a gal.

To my soccer frens, well, trust me, i will be faster than ever when i come back from australia.. Do match planners... Do warn opponents abt me... Ask them dun try so hard to catch up with me to prevent themselves from injuring. Haha juz kidding. Well.. shall be back for more soccer actions.

ok lastly, to my one and only.. My gal..

Well bao bei.. i will miss u.. really. i hope i didnt need to go this trip. i regret volunteering for it. But well. i hope u do take care of yaself. Somethings i shall tell u when i see u later. Ok.. I love u. Muackz!

2005-11-01T14:32:00.000+08:00

Well.. Really liked this song in the past. But after i downloaded the mp3 and read the lyrics, i love it even more..
haha Lee Hom's :

Forever Love
o~~~

爱你,
不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你,
每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever
才了解自己,
未来这些日子
要好好珍惜

爱我
有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我
不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风深情
温柔的安抚,
我的不安定
所以我要
每年研究你的笑容
wo~~
多么自然

forever love forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,
你会是所有
幸福的理由

爱情,
是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞
偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里
像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化
我的不安定
不可思议
证明我爱你的理由
wo
多么自然
你感动的眼睛,
我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
ilove you ~~
直到永远
oh
forever love
forever love
forever love

-------end-------

2005-10-29T17:59:00.000+08:00

hm... well.. i'm doing duty on this boring sat.. well.. in approx 5 days, i will be leaving for australia. For 20 days.. kinda think of it, itz kinda contradicting.. Well, when i got the the opportunity to go that time, i was so happy.. But now, as days draw nearer, the more i dun feel like going.. Cos.. Its sooo long! I really dunno hw am i gonna survive it... My goodness.. And the fucking R&R is only 1.5 days.. -_-"..
And i dunno why.. This mth still have a long way to go, and i am kinda broke. FUCK! maybe i shldnt have spent so much during my genting trip.

And yea.. booked the tics to go to cameron highlands and KL with her yesterday at the suntec fair.. Well, looking forward to it.. Finally.. No more lonely christmas.. HAHA!

Shall be busy preparing myself for the trip to aust nx week.. After i come back, it will be another step to ORD.

Things to Clear b4 ORD
- ATP
- SOC
- IPPT
- Coastal Swim
- ~~Unarmed Combat~~

141 days more to ORD.. Counting down..

2005-10-28T12:44:00.000+08:00

well... had a 1/2 day off and decides to roam ard and i actually saw this from rong's blog.. 'i hope 5 person who sees this will do it are xxx, yyy, zzz, rongguang and www.' DOng! kinda surprised to see my name in there.. Ok.. so i guess i wld have to do it..

rules of the game: Post 5 Weird and Random Facts abt yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Do not post the names of the people who've done this before.

1) I am a person who drools when i sleep.. Last time in JC, i always drool onto my uniform.. LOLZ

2) Sometimes, i do wrong things unintentionally and thus hurting or offending people. Another words, i am not sensitive and considerate enuff to everyone..

3) My weakness is my temper.. But this have been put under control ever since i met her. And even if i gets really angry, it wont last for long...

4) I realised that a person doesnt need to have too many good friends.. Cos too much complicate things.. A handful who knows u well enuff wld be gd enuff..

5) I am a poor decision-maker..

I hope 5 person who sees this and will do it are ah gu, weiyi, yy, ns ckgold, and steph.

adios~

2005-10-23T17:55:00.000+08:00

Phew... Finally.. This marks the end of the 1 week break i had away from camp.. It was great.. Anywhere beyond camp's great.. Today's the 23rd of Oct.. I wld be leaving for Australia in approximately 10-11 days. For 20 days.. Hm... This 1 wk break, basically apart from the genting trip, i havent really done anything much... Spending most of the time at hm resting, recovering from the fucking flu i acquired from genting... Surf ard and increase my knowledge abit.. Well 147 more days to ORD.. It will fly~

Haha.. Finally, i got to watch my 1st EPL match for dunno how many 'N' mths yesterday... Itz between Man Utd and my beloved Tottenham Hotspurs.. Felt great.. Why? Cos my fav club got a decent result out of the game.. a 1-1 draw.. And also, itz not often that SCV broadcasts matches of Spurs as itz not a big club. And so much was read thru the internet and papers, i finally got to see my fav club live in action.. Well, i doubt many wld have understood this kind of feeling unless they are soccer fans like me.

In life, there are many whom will cross our paths.. Some will walk with us till the end.. Some will take a seperate path.. Some will change their route halfway.. Maybe my time has come.. To take a diff path from many whom i used to walk with...

Okie.. back to reality.. time to prepare myself and book in lo!

New Skin..

2005-10-22T14:52:00.000+08:00

Well... Have been thinking abt it for a long time.. And yes! Finally, i changed the outlook of my blog.. Why change it? Cos i felt my life is no longer like the dull black blog which i had in the past anymore. Of course, my life's my colourful nw, since she had stepped into my life.. And oso, i have so much time and nothing to do! So i decided to go learn abit and this is end product. I felt it can be better.. But... Nvm la.. Like this can le..

Well... Went to genting on tues with ck and cj.. got back on thursday.. Had a relaxing time... Time away from army.. itz good.. The 1st day, we went to walk ard... watched, 'into the blue' at genting.. Itz damn cheap.. haha.. And i muz say, this is a sux show... but the gals in the show are HOT!!! Nice body!! After that at nite, went to casino and donated 300 bucks ringgit... (-_-)".... The nx day, went to KL.. Omg.. the food there is damn cheap and nice... Den the things there are cheap too... I bought 2 pairs of shoes and some miscellaneous stuffs.. KL seemed so big to me! I think we juz explored part of KL.. Den at nite went back to casino.. donated another 300 bucks ringgit... LOLz.. Den nx day, go back SG...

Well... generally the whole trip was quite alrite.. With occasion stir of my mood by ck.. Well... oso learnt 2 malay words while spending our time there.. 'dilarang merokok' and 'tantas'.. LOL.. the former means no smoking.. the latter means toilet... wahha.. These are the most common sights we seen.

Finally thurs come back to SG.. fucking sick till now.. the fucking flu and sore throat juz wldnt go away... Guess that i am lacking dosage of 'bird's nest'.. LOLz Yesterday went BQ with rich, deb and her frens... Drank quite a lot... but still nt enuff to knock me off.. Den walk hm from BQ with rich.. LOLz romantic wor~ Somemore rain~.. LOL... thats abt it...

Well...Really missed her a lot.. cant wait for her to come back and for me to bk out.. Hopes she have a safe trip back~..

Furoirain Omaesan

2005-10-18T01:40:00.000+08:00

Haha.. i didnt noe if i got that rite.. But shld be la.. Had quite a good few days.. Really spent some quality time with her.. I love it.. every single minute of it.. But like i always say.. Life's always fair.. When u reaches the high of ya life, u noe soon it will bring u back to ya low again.

Yupz.. a day ago marks our 3rd mth... Nothing special. Juz the usual~ Haha..

Well, she's juz left SG for japan le.. For 1 week.. Sighz... Nvm.. tough times don last.. Tough man do.. Guess that this will be juz another endurance test for me..

Tml, i will be going to genting with my campmate, CJ and CK.. Dunno how it will turn out to be.. But everytime, all these trips keep one excited.. hope it will nt be disappoiniting..

well that all folks...

watashi aikou omaesan..

Weekend

2005-10-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Hm... i am glad that another storm is over again..

The long weekend i was so looking forward to, didnt turn out to be wat i expected. Totally unexpected. It wasnt as good as i tot it wld be in some sense, but at some instance, interesting things happened. But the bottomline is, i want to fucking get over and done with NS.. So every week's a long weekend. NS! FUCK U! Sometimes, time is so precious.

Well, there are a lot of coincidence in life which sometimes, make it hard for ppl to believe. FOr me, i am 1 who experiences lot of coincidences in every aspect of my life. Quoting some examples.. I saw 3 interesting things in a timespan of 1 hr.. wahhha.. aiyah i lazy to blog them out le..

Alrite... really hope weekends come fast! The nx 2 weeks may be quite tough for me.. Well shall see hw it goes..

Shi wan ge wei she me..

2005-10-07T16:51:00.000+08:00

wei she me.. wei she me.. wei she me...... shi wan ge wei she me!

Wu la buo shi... Do u have answers to everthing? Or is there anyone who has answers to everything? If there is, pls let me noe.. Or if there's anyone out there, who can ans all my questions, pls let me noe..

why issit i am so tired... but i cant get into sleep... y issit everytime i close my eyes, my mind wld juz keep working non-stop.. Is there any ways to make it stop? Y isnt the brain designed with a switch which i can juz switch off..

God.. this is fucked up.. If u are listening to me, i hope u wld stop all these nw..

Finally time to update!

2005-10-06T20:56:00.000+08:00

Well... my weekend was an alrite one.. but spoilt by NS again.. cos got my monday off postponed. and was recalled back camp. dulanz.

However, on sunday nite, i finally let out some of the things that has been kept within me for so long... And finally i found out the ans i longed for.... It took me 2 1/2 mths... It wasnt easy... Those sleepless nites i had, seemed to pay off... No one will understand the joy in me..

Life's a roller-coaster ride la... So much ups and downs in life.. Sometimes itz so diff to blog everything down.

But here are 2 questions which came across my mind...
=>in a relationship, hw much do u expect of ya partner?
=>to what lengths will u go to, for ya partner?

Haha.. of course i have my own answers... but i aint gonna tell them to ya.. and of course, there are oso lotsa other questions popping in my mind.. juz tat now, i am so distracted by other things that i cant really figure them out and blog in down. LOLz

Being a short-tempered person, i tot of something. Have u ever regretted let ya temper take over you and result in something regretful? haha i have.. Thats y i am a changed person... A more toned-down person... But still my temper is still as short.. but nw, i learn to control them more... rather let them control me.. Juz a piece of advice to my readers out there... Think b4 u flare... bcos u wldnt noe how badly others get burnt... cos diff ppl have diff resistance to rage... Try burning something.. No matter hw resistant it is towards fire, one day it will still wear out.. Science lesson huh? LOLz

Well, thats all folks..
cheers!

As much as i want to be SUPERMAN... i realised i'm not... Like humans, i have feelings and emotions too..

Nothing to do..

2005-09-28T16:56:00.000+08:00

Well... didnt really have much to do.. So logged on and decided to blog. Army has be relatively meaningless to me lately.. Itz like i am juz sitting and waiting for my time to come. When asked, 'so hw long more of service u've left?'. Less than 6 mths it is. But it seems like an eternity to me. And i regretting to go for the australia trip. Maybe bcos of the living conditions there.. Maybe itz nt wat i tot it might be. Maybe, maybe and maybes. I was so happy and eager to go initially. Now, i juz wished i wont be going.

Well saw some of my purmei frenz this weekend. Juz felt we werent as close anymore. Maybe itz only me. But the sense of disappointment i have is still there. But there are too much things on my mind. I couldnt care more.

Lately, i'm having gd sleep. I no longer have those weired dreams. And the amount of dreams i have are very little already. Even if i have any, the main character is always the same person. Lately, i had a dream, when i woke up, i realised that the dream is quite meaningless. But wat i concluded from the dream is fear, jealousy and uncertainty. Maybe these are the 3 things i have on the guy in the dream. There are so much which i wish i could juz write down here.. The cries from my heart. But i cant...

Well.. hi to those who've been ghosting ard my blog. Thanks for the support and attention your have been giving in the dark.

cinderella prince.

2005-09-24T19:11:00.000+08:00

well.. fairytales fairytales... My faith on fairytale almost ended a few days ago. I was like a fallen soul.. But cinderella man gave me back the beliefs. He showed me that with sheer determination, anything can happen. For his love ones, he didnt allow himself to fall. He continued to battle on even he's battered. Eventually, he made the unexpected happen. The show is truly inspiring.

When i had fallen, and all the bad things start to bestow on me, i saw a light. A familiar face appear from that light. I saw my princess, stretching out her hand and lifting me up. That gave me the strength to battle on again. Like a mean machine.

If u ask me where's my heart. I'll tell u that i have none. Cos i've already given it to u.
If u ask me hw deep my love's for u. I'll tell u i dunno. Coz i never been to the end of an abyss b4.
If u ask me to set a deadline for my love to u. I'll tell u i cant. Cos itz forever

Time of the month

2005-09-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

Anyway, i wondered hw many really believed in fairytale? I used to.. But now, i am slowly losing my faith..

this is something i came up with to divert my attention for awhile..

THE LOST BATTLE

The prince saw a princess
He wants to make her his
He looked into her eyes
He felt something amiss

He saw a shattered princess
With heart being torn apart
He asked her what happened
She insists nothing happened

A curious prince went to look
He saw the demons of her past
Getting themselves off the hook
Haunting her daily till dusk

The prince donned his gauntlet
Ate his cutlet
Drew his sword
Cast his ward

The prince fought the demons
The prince fell to the ground
He got up and charge again
Only to find himself falling again and again.

The taste of victory
Each time's so near
He knew he had to get up
But this time he cant

He felt his heart stopping
His breaths slowing
He realise he cant do it alone
He needs you

Will you....

End of my super long weekend.

2005-09-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

Finally, my super long weekend has come an end.. Back to the reality that i still have 6 more mths of national service left in my life. However, this is the best long weekend i ever had. Not that i had done a lot during this week. But itz the company that matters.

This week, i'm a happy man.. I hope that every week wld be like this. :)

17/09/05

2005-09-17T04:47:00.000+08:00

Every 16th of the month is a special day. Every 17th is a day which i makes her a happy gal. I wished everyday is the 17th of the mth. 17th marks a huge significance in our lifes. I shant elborate much... But 17th is oso the day i gets my pink IC. haha.

If every 17th made u the happiest gal in the world, i pray to god that everyday is the 17th of the month. If i ever hurt u in any wayz, i'm sorry. Cos now, u are not alone anymore. I hope i'm never ya burden. I hope i'll alawys be there to lift u up. Braving u through all the difficulties. Giving u all the courage u've lost. And make u certain that i'm the mighty knight that's gonna protect u from anything and everything. Being the prince that guide u tru and showing the light in ya life.

For u are my lovely princess. The sweetest thing that ever came to my life...

the key to my heart

2005-09-17T04:29:00.000+08:00

The key to your heart is KNOWLEDGE. You are
intellegent, understanding, a bit confused
sometimes and spend a lot of time wondering
what your purpose is on Earth. You wonder if
you are destined to be the next school
librarian...or something greater. Your soulmate
gets great marks and has a huge crush on you.
S/he may try to hide it in shyness though, so
watch out! Congratz!
Here's some things about you:

Animal: Owl, Puppy Jewel: Pearl Hair colour:
brown that reaches your hips Eye colour: dark
brown Hobbie: reading various books and
stories Dresses: You dress in colourful
clothes that are mostly purple and green and
are mostly casual, comfortable pants and tops

What is the Key to Your Heart? (with pix and lengthy results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

6 more mths to ORD...

2005-09-15T13:35:00.000+08:00

Finally.. i have served 1 year and 6 mths of national service. 6 more mths to go...Say long nt long. Say short, not short. Well...this monday, i will witness the ORD parade of 2nd coy... finally after them, it will be us, 3rd coy. For me, i've juz completed my UC.. finally, another step to ORD. Now all i need is to clear my SOC and my IPPT... Maybe coastal swim. Something which i dread most. Not forgetting my jumpz too. I hope i can jump on this 22nd. it will be the best scenerio b4 i ORD.

Well... the next 3 mths may well be the most the most difficult time of my life. But well.. i will learn to live with it. Anyway, i cant wait for nx year to come. I've got lotsa expections for it.

Gd and Bad

2005-09-10T12:06:00.000+08:00

Well... gd things and bad things are happening ard me... lets talk abt myself 1st. Yeah! i passed my basic theory~ In the 1st attempt. I'm good la. Must thank my lucky charm who accompanied me there~. Love u lots lots. Muackz. And i juz completed my 21 km AHM with a timing of 2hrs 15minutes. 5 minutes faster than last year.

Then there's jx...My buddy since sec 1. Finally after 21 yrs of wait, he finally got a real gf. Haha. Congrats to him.. Hope it will be a fulfilling one for him.

weige, seems like u are almost there le. Hope u succeed. I noe u can do it la. Den it will be all down to Zhihao! haha

And kion! happy 21st bday. finally can watch r21 liaoz. Haha.. anyway, he really looked like a drunkard prawn tat nite.

Well, obviously, there are some bad incidents that quite disturbed me. A fren of mine juz broke up withn his long time gf. Wat i can see is 1 is very hurt. Another is very determined to live a better life. But it makes me wonder hw come a simple thing done by her new bf can make her so touched. Whereas, wat my fren does now seem all so irritating and meaningless to her nw. I believe this fren of mine of done more touching things to her than her new bf now. The heart and the brain... Itz complicated.

Den a bro of mine. WJ, he's trying so hard to patch up with his ex. But to no anvil. Hw come a relationship of so long can become stale like this? Has the gal forgotten all that they have gone thru?

den a fren of mine seemed like she juz broke up with her bf. also another long relationship.

I wonder hw come time can make 2 person's so love so stale. Things said and done began to look so irritable. Whereas same thing done by other ppl seemed so sweet.

Lotsa things going thru my head.

some with ans... some with a big question mark

My Week..

2005-09-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

Hm... a number of things happened... Where shall i start?

Hm.. as usual, i shall start from camp 1st.. Well.. Nothing unusual happened. Everyone's preparing for IQA. And i finished my UC mod 2. Nx week shall be the start of Mod 1. Everything's quite peaceful. Can see my understudies are looking good. I can let them take over me without fear le. Ran 18km at east coast on fri. Came back with a timing of 1hr 50 minutes. Quite disappointed with myself. Felt i can do better. Nvm. I will do better in this coming AHM on 911.

Hm.. realised wat happen to one of my former gd bro. Was pretty surprised. Can feel the sadness in him. Well, if it was in the past, i wld have felt damn happy for him. But today, i sincerely and truthfully touching my heart, i felt sad for him. Maybe a lot might nt believe this, but this is really the case. Maybe itz becos, i can see the 2 sides of the coin now, which in the past, i cant. I wish the best for him. And may god bless him.

Hm... I myself went tru some torrid time this week. Managed to resolve some things. Hope that such things will nt happen again. Muz thank god again for showing me the light again.

Watched 'the longest yard on fri'. Wasnt as nice as i expected. But still... itz a comedy. I love comedies! Haha.

I know i will reach there someday. I know i can dispel ya fear someday. I know i will make u feel certain someday. I know i can do it.
Cos i love u~.

Ups and Downs of life

2005-08-30T19:05:00.000+08:00

Hm... well, sat i have a hell of a nite with my purmei bros. Itz so happy to tok to my bro W again. Itz been a while. I sincerely hope he let bygones be bygones. It was a fun nite. Juz tat there are some who doesnt seemed to be who they were. I felt time was rewound, and everyone turns back to the good old 16 yrs old days. Haha.

Hm.. sometimes i wonder hw come things can change so fast? Say, things juz made a 360 degrees turn in say, last than 1 minute? Sometimes, i wonder if i've did something wrong. This makes me very afraid to talk the next time. To be so careful abt wat to say. Which is not me. No wonder ppl say silent is golden.

Thats abt it.. well juz hope that everything turns out well again. Hope she gets better and good luck to her exams.

The Harsh World.

2005-08-27T15:25:00.000+08:00

Hm... Lets start from NS 1st. Well, ever since i returned to Hendon, the 3rd coy cohort ppl's bond have never been better. Why? cos the 4 of us are the most senior of the pack. Sometimes itz so sad to see that there are ppl backstabbing ard. I saw one of my cohort guys got stabbed by another guy not from our cohort. I felt sad, but i kept quiet. Den, i realised i got stabbed too when news from Pasir Ris spread over. Lucky i've always maintained a healthy relation with my PRC mates. This is disturbing, cos i can roughly sense who the person is. Furthermore it may be the someone who always so close to us. Nvm. dun ever let me noe who this pussy is. Cos he will suffer the wrath of human torch.

Ok. now. this week's been tiring. Especially from UC. Tired. Anyway, happy birthday to my bro, Kenny. Happy 21st bday. I'm sure we had a great time yea? Haha. Well itz almost confirmed that i am going to australia for wallaby this nov. Finally got this chance to leave asia. Feeling quite excited initially. But after learning the living conditions there and my job scope, felt kinda sianz. Shld have stick with the taiwan plan instead. But still...... nvm...

And this week, had a lot of weird dreams. Eg, dream in a dream. Noe wat it means? well, nvm. And itz so frequent that itz kinda freaky.

Haha. i've learnt something new again. Something tat will up my tolerance, endurance. And itz impt. Seemed like starting afresh made me a more sensible person. Using the brain to control myself, not my feelings.

Anyway, my elva's result is coming out soon. Juz wanna say, 'don worry la! think so much oso no use. Chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi.'

Only heaven knows

2005-08-21T02:34:00.000+08:00

Something struck my thoughts again. Though i tot of it b4, but now tat i noe more, i realised it some things really cannot be explained.

In the past, i was wondering why heaven is so cruel to me. Befalling all the bad stuffs on me. Presenting fates and chances which i never cherish. Often these left me regretting. I used to blame heaven for playing me ard. Treating me like a fool. I used to hate him. But now, itz nt the case anymore. Why do i say this? Cos....

I discover that god actually path out the route for my relationship with 'EJECT'. Everything falls so nicely in place. The events that happened. Everything. really... everything. It looked like someone planned it out. Sorry, but i decide nt to blog out the events tat happen. Cos i've learnt that sometimes, somethings, itz betta to be kept within.

It began to make sense why god was so cruel to me in the past. He wanted me to learn... Learn to take initiative. Learn to take opportunities. Learn to cherish. The reason behind those near misses was that he can see that those gals werent the ones for me. He was actually my hero for rescuing me but i blamed him for playing me in the past.
He has constantly been watching over me and answering me prayers without me knowing it and i blamed him for neglecting me. Now seeing the stuffs that happened which made us together and keeps us together, i can only say i am sorry god. And thank u in some ways.

Everyday is a new learning process. Today i learnt something new. I learnt that fate does exist. And now i will learn to cherish more.

Yawnz

2005-08-20T13:27:00.000+08:00

Well... i dun noe why.. but i think, slowly, i am losing interest in blogging liaoz.. Anyway, NS has been fucked up as usual. 7 mths more to ORD. Doing my UC nw. My body aches like shit lo. Reminds me of BAC. Wanted to take IPPT on friday 1. Want to test hw gd i am nw. Cos i felt i am at my fittest condition. But... in the end never.

Well.. had a short conversation with a bro of mine on fri. We never tok ever since tat time.

sibei sianz. dunno wat to blog le.

thats all folks

My apologies

2005-08-12T18:55:00.000+08:00

Wah.. this 2 days have been hell. My mood is damn fucked up. I even scolded my fellow medical center pal in front of so many ppl. Sorry pal. I dun noe hw to say that in front of u, so i decide to write in words. Pardon me if my recent rage has offended any of your. I am really becoming a human-torch.

Will hell continue? well. Only time will tell.

National Day.

2005-08-10T02:31:00.000+08:00

Well.. Itz been quite a while since i post some decent post on hw i am nw. Well... I missed the parade~ Didnt watch. Went to marina square, in hope to find a good spot to watch the fireworks. Yeah.. everyone tells me diff stories abt the firework. Like where can watch, wat time, etc. Even the newspaper fake me. When i reach Marina Square, it seems to me tat Marina Square is having a National Day Hello Kitty promotion. There's so much ppl! OMG! In the end, when we saw tat time's gonna be up for the fire works, we rush to esplanade in hope to find a gd spot. In the end, there's even more ppl there and the spot where we wanna go, cant go! wahhaha. Den fireworks started. We left esplanade, tried to cross the road. Den i we saw the fireworks right above our head! For a moment, i was captivated by the firework, cos this is the 1st time i saw the fireworks so close to me. And in the middle of a road. Haha~! We juz stand there for some time. Even the road marshallers stop doing their job for a moment. Becos the close view of the fireworks is really spectacular. But soon, we were being chased off. Haha. We continued to stand at the roadside to watch. I really enjoyed the moment until something flew inside my right eye, causing pain. Dammit. Anti-climax.

Decided to catch a movie. Bewitched. Wanted to go to orchard. BUT! The crowd shocked me. We cant even get to the MRT. Even book taxi oso got prob. In the end took ard 1 hr to reach orchard. The heat and the constant pushing and shoving by those ppl was getting onto my nerves.

Haha. I tot special seats are for 'special' things in cinemas. wahha, but i was wrong. Bo bian. Like some1 said, sua tehn.

Well. National Day 05 was one of the more meaningful National Days i had in recent years. I really enjoyed the day. Juz tat my stupid tummy's bugging me the whole day.

Love ya~ muackz~

The Promise

2005-08-06T13:39:00.000+08:00

There are so much things which i tried, but still fail to understand. Wondering wat's right, wats wrong. Getting confused each time. Been thinking abt the worthiness of a promise. Wat does a promise mean to us nowadays? Cos i've always believed that u hold a dog by its leash. u hold a man by his words. But wat abt women?

I'm wondering who's the fucker who came up with the phrase, 'promises are meant to be broken'. Itz juz an excuse to make one feel better when they cant live up to their promise. An excuse to not make one try hard enuff to fulfill their promise. The meaning of promise is all gone.

Promise - A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow.
(The meaning of promise i found at www.dictionary.com.)

This I Promise You.

When visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes,
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Is standing here all alone...

-Chorus-

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

-Chorus-

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
Ooh.. I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

-Chorus-

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true,
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you.

To all out there. If u cant keep a promise, dun make a promise. Cos if u think promises are meant to be broken, u've juz broken somebody's trust.

Momo~

2005-07-30T14:41:00.000+08:00

well went to Momo yesterday. It was nice la. the crowd was good. music was alrite. the gal doing the bartop dancing was sexy and gorgeous. it was quite fun la. juz tat maybe now, i aint much of a clubber, tats y i find it a bit of boring too. watever it is, its a whole new experience again.

was very happy yesterday. cos tok quite a while with her. but still missing her badly. tis is day 5. haha. may be going clubbing again today.

day 2

2005-07-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

well.. me going to tekong for cover tml. damn sianz. and yes. i juz spoilt her memory card. OMFG! i oso dunno hw it spoilt. felt damn bad. nvm. brood over it oso no use. gotta solve this problem.

and yupz. had a 2minute chat with her today. haha. 2 minutes.... -_-" sibei sianz.

Lost.

2005-07-26T20:19:00.000+08:00

well, the sense of lost is undescrible. this is day 1.

Finally..

2005-07-23T14:04:00.000+08:00

everything's so funny when i think of it.. Haha. God did play his part this time rd. Fate did come along. And i did do my part. So did she. Finally, everything's falling into places very correctly and each and everything did their part to make this happen. though somethings do have room for improvement, but it all doesnt matter now, cos finally, we are together. I wldnt say it was easy, I wldnt say it was tough. i wld say it was smooth-sailing.

anyway to my purmei brothers, who survellience my blog 24/7 in stealth mode, i wish your best of luck too. wat i can say is cherish it when it comes and cb betta take initiative. To the last 2 competitors of chicken rice war.... WCC, relentless assualt is a good method. but den.. if u dont charge in, wats the pt of all these assaults? CCK, don live in the past anymore liaoz la. u can do it 1. i am looking forward for WCC to treat. i dun wish u be the 1 treating.

and jx ah. i think i've told u enuff le. dun bcos of her den make yaself till like tat. look ahead. sch's starting on monday.

to NS CK Gold. fuck u la.. relax la. i tried having war with kah chong liaoz la. nt worth it la. KNN, always claim that protect their man. More like protect their ass la.i dun need someone who poses danger to me to protect me. itz crazy. gone were the good old days of doc jeff, doc david, master oh and staff wong. they were truthfully our guardian angel. nw? we are threatened even by our own ppl. hw to work in harmony? hw to have no conflict? anyway, nw i fuck care liaoz. juz do the necessary. dun bother too much.

anyway, NS ending in approx 8 mths. it will be fast. and to 2nd coy. I will miss your. sorry if there were any misunderstandings in the past. hope we still can hang ard even after we ORD.

i think tats all le. finally got to post some normal post.

*Thanks for clearing my uncertianties and giving me the reassurance with your actions. Haha. I love u~

My Personality Test

2005-07-20T22:55:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better
Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

LOLz... i tot tat was quite true..

Dunno wat to say...

2005-07-17T15:11:00.000+08:00

itz been awhile since i've post.... well maybe i was really busy. But oso that my spider sense tells me nt to. HAHA... Cos... i noe why, U noe why... think someone muz be very anxious to see wat i am posting tdy.... TOO BAD.. i am gonna disappoint u! haha... well... funny things happened... funny things knew... anyway... congrats to JX.. u are the man la... at least yours is crystal clear nw... i dunno wat am i now oso. haha.. dunno wat to blog liaoz. Sorry to my fans.. cos i really dunno wat to blog.

Hm.... i am so confused that i am gonna be confucious soon.... can show me the light? i tried.. i said.. but...

Right here waiting.

2005-07-09T13:32:00.000+08:00

Well... i didnt really really have the time to update wat happened last week. It was a gd sunday. I hoped every sunday gives me the same feeling. Well... i am happy is nt bcos the green light is shown. i am happy bcos of the progress. finally, i felt the clam finally opens up. i finally began to know more, in juz one nite. and the feeling of having her in my arms beats any gals in the past. things are looking gd. so we shall see hw it goes this sunday.

Well... i will be going back hendon nx week. due to lack of man power. sux. dunno go liaoz when will go back prc. dun think so liaoz i think. my future lies in an unbalance. nvm. who cares abt NS. i already lost all sorts of motivation in NS. it wldnt affect me any longer.

tats all folks.

chicken rice war, win or lose, fate shall be decided real soon...

I tot too much

2005-07-04T03:28:00.000+08:00

yes~ today's a happy day. i tot too much! She's the one! She's the one who's gonna be juz rite for me!

I am simmering.

2005-07-02T15:30:00.000+08:00

well... itz been very long since i am so angry.. someone told me some comments made by her ex..... i was infruiated... It was one of the most insulting thing to say to a gal. And in my life, i have never say such things to a gal b4 no matter hw angry i am... At tat moment i feeling like bashing this fucker up. But i cant. who am i to do it.... i am still a nobody... This makes me wanna be somebody... Somebody to protect her. Somebody to be by her side.. But does she want? I dunno... She hasnt shown any green light. Neither has she shown the red light..... But nw, i am filled with anger.... And temper is my weakness...

Unhappiness and Happiness

2005-06-27T04:19:00.000+08:00

Well... 6 consecutive days at camp is nt a fun thing. i suddenly realised i'm like being a recruit all over again. Being treated like a trainee. Being ordered and fucked ard. I mean why is this the case? Havent we done enuff for the medical center and the battalion? did we really have a lot of previlges? i dun really think so... well... times changed. and so does our lives. bottomline is, NS sux...

anyway, went to mx's bday on sati... it was a bit boring i muz say. am so qiao, one of her fren is currently a commando recruit... dunno got tekan him b4 a not. sibei paisae. den after tat went to play billard with PX and CK. Well, till tat day, my suayness havent end. Get 1 pt, will foul 4 pts. KNN.

sunday, tuang the whole day at hm... but sunday was a happy day. y? ppl who knew wat happened will noe la. i kept smiling the whole day. den went to watched initial D. nice movie i mus say. i will recomend it.

den mon came. One of the most A.S.K day i ever had. took cab to orchard.... watched 'a lot like love'. Its quite alrite la... maybe juz a 6/10 movie. den went smk... yea... guess wat? had sushi tei for dinner!~ den go PS. Fuck. was really reluctant to go there. guess tat she juz wanna tiao gang go there so i might see someone. saw weige and qihan instead. saw them so busy, so never go call them. den went to bakerzin. Had dessert. and yea. tat moment of time, my cigarette was conficated. and for the rest of the nite, i am being controlled. nvm...i think she meant well. cos i had a bad cough. went to mustafa at 11+ MUSTAFA! cant believe it! it was juz an impromtu idea. and we actually made it happen. well... i guess the trip was nt as bad as i tot it will be. saw many things. tried many nonsensical things. i actually tried a dragon rope. or rather, Long pao? yea... den went to a indian kopi thiam and sat down. yah there, i was once agian being bullied. inhaling 2nd hand smk and nt able to smk a cig until i stealthly snatch it back. haha. and i took a super ugly pic of her. haha. it was stunningly ugly!. and i was being tortured again after that. den went hm at ard 4am. shagged neh neh. but overall it was a good day. time flies.

den today was supposed to meet jx for tanning and swimming. but... hm... he sick, i tired. so neber go. he came my hse to help me fix my com. den we went orchard shop. and den bugis.. bought a shirt and a boxers. den met her for a smk. and time flies. nw... preparing to go back eat shit. sibei sianz. PBS!

well... i felt happy. nw i am like on amber like. waiting for the green light to come. can u show me the green light? i dun wanna ruin it.

Boring~

2005-06-19T04:11:00.000+08:00

Well... sunday went well... i was very happy. even monday, i slept smiling. hwever, things cooled down since den. Haiz... dunno wat to do la... take one step see one step.

sun went PS, went to find weige.. but he off tat day. den saw Val instead. she's working as samsung promoter. So long neber see her le. she had grown a number of pimples. Den went walk walk ard but cannot find wat i want. Den after i met her, den i found wat i want. But aiya. heck it la.

Monday's atp was fucked up.... got marksman for day shoot. nite shoot was cancelled. den wed go back pasir ris den realised i wed, fri and sun duty. SHAGED. though i predicted it. but still sianz... den in my NSF life, i finally knocked ppl down le... yea.. thanks to those recruits.. i had some fun.

sat went to eat with jo and tough.. had updates abt each other's life. itz like almost 2 mths since i've seen them. den tough was quite upset abt sth. haiz... nvm. shant eloborate. itz.. her things. den met up with deb, jol and jx. went play billard den after tat go tOk cok session with jx. Knew a lot of things. updated a lot of things. shant care so much oso. Have too much things in mind le.

Hm... shld i be more aggresive? or shld i be reserved? shld i play the fast game? or shld i keep it slow?

wahhhha i saw fiona xie

2005-06-12T13:57:00.000+08:00

Well... fri went to NUS to play tennis with wong and cheeky with only 2 hrs of sleep. -_-'' but still i think i have a natural talent in tennis. having whacked wong 6-0... sibei song. dunno why everytime compete with him, win liaoz got this sibei song feeling. maybe can suan him bah i guess. wahhhha.. Den afternoon went orchard. Saw fiona xie at cine!!!!! omg... her melons are huge. but she real life dosent look so chio. wanted to take pic with her. but when due to some suayness, i failed to take. i dunno hw to explain by typing. den i went heeren walk walk with my frenz. den bought a new wallet at wallet shop. den i shifed my things from old wallet to new wallet. den i threw the old wallet away. FUCK! only when i am in bus den i realise tat my EZ link card still in old wallet. Sibei dulan. the card still got 10+ bucks inside. den nite went watch Mr and Mrs Smith. Was a nice show. after the show, Saw BK and 2 of his frens. GALS. hahaha. den tok abit abt amry and staff wong.

Den sat was supposed to go suntan. but cheeky last minute pang seh. den meet pang for bfast. after tat go back to sleep till 4. den 7 like tat went to play bball.. had a great time. cos itz been a long time since i play with my former bball mates. like joseph, mc, yangguo, wx, etc. joked a lot. den after that went to GSS at suntec. fwah. fucking crowded. super dulan. den left at 1+ went out with jx, j and D to eat supper. den tok cok abit, den walk ard den go hm.

Den 'tough' msg me at 1+ ask me go newsroom! siao! but lucky u never merlion. heh heh. tats all for my offs and my long weekend. today shall return to camp. tml atp. FUCK U ATP. u ruin my day.

Sadness

2005-06-11T02:19:00.000+08:00

You are sad because of your grief

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

The trip

2005-06-09T14:30:00.000+08:00

Hm... From Monday to Wed, i have been basically wasting time in camp. Cos always being asked to go some place and do nothing. Den sibei sianz. Sun have ATP... meaning sun nite need to bk in. Den dunno hw to go sesha smking sia.

Well... went for nite cycling yesterday's nite. It was a fun trip. From purmei -->chinatown-->boat quay-->esplanade-->kallang-->east coast mac-->bedok jetty-->geylang-->bugis-->city hall and backz. It was fun.. But i sit till my arse very pain, den urine oso pain. Dunno why. Lucky today okie liaoz. I was quite proud of myself tat i finished the nite cycling, cos i isnt a good rider. But i did hurt myself during an incident when i was playful. got some scratches on my calf. But the whole nite my mind was on something else.

While cycling, i saw the BBQ pit tat brought back so much memories. Memories of 2 yrs back. Almost exactly 2 yrs back. Though 2 yrs seemed so long. But the memories were still so fresh to me.

Another thing was hw am i going to solve the sunday thing. *headaches*

anyway, the whole nite, i've been riding on a bike tat looked like itz used for delivering newspaper.... ppl who saw, juz laffed. and the bike makes funny noises. so ppl dun notice oso cannot.

anyway, nx mth 22nd, i am going for endoscopy. cos my intestine isnt feeling tat good.

2005-06-05T16:26:00.000+08:00

Pang's Bday

Happy Birthday Pang!

2005-06-05T15:57:00.000+08:00

hm... finally, the youngest of the purmei brotherhood has turn 21. All adults liaoz. But we juz behave like childs again yesterday. wahha. Yesterday was one of the happier times the whole jim bang is together. Itz been a while since the whole grp gathered. Like ah-gu, wen xian.. well... okie... lets start my weekend story..

Well.. was supposed to meet up with pang and cheeky to go buy stuffs for the nite. But oh well. slept so late on fri tat i couldnt wake up and join them. Den at 5, we embark ourselves to this journey of celebration. Well, we went to clarke quay to eat at an indonesian resturant. den after that, went to great world. wanna watch movie one. but den, no slots. den i got to see those cute hamsters again!!! yea! will get myself one when i ord. Then went to Kim Seng to play pool/billard. Fwah fuck sia. Skills are deproving!! Den after that, went pang's hse. Eat eat, tok cok tok cok.
Den play 5,10, 15. wahha.. Itz funny to see ppl get drunk. and the things they do and say. Itz so funny. It was a great nite. A pity tat nt everyone can be there.

this morning wake up still hang over. sibei sian.
and tml.... back to work!!

Hm.. strange

2005-06-04T02:17:00.000+08:00

Well, beginning to adapt to PRC life. Hwever, felt that my upper study is eating me more and more. Seems like he juz push everything to me to do. And my tolerance is wearing thin. Well, went to send dan liu off on sun. Fucking. take train to tanah merah, no more train to changi airport! den take cab there. Fwah fuck. $8.50! like tat i might as well take cab straight away from hm. damn sianz.den go there only managed to say one happy bday and good bye. haha. wtf. Den monday nite, i had 3 dreams. 2 of which is bad, 1 is damn good. the 1st one was abt the past. dunno why still will dream of her. Maybe itz bcos i read her blogs on sun. but it was a dream tat made me rem so much abt the past. makes me damn sianz. the 2nd one is abt the present. i dreamt tat somebody refuse to tok to me anymore. fwah kaoz. even more sianz. den the 3rd one. the most happy one. I dreamt i struck lottery!! i remembered the no. and bought 4-d. but fucking never open. not even close. 5 bucks wasted. -_-"

hm. today, went played soccer with purmei buddies. Well, he was there. didnt talk to him at all. I wondered, issit things really have to turn out this way? well.. still got this thinking, zhi ji de lu, zhi ji tiao. juz felt sad things have to turn this way. if i were to be put on blame, i accept part of it. But i dun think i deserve the full blame. And i dun think he deserves my apology judging on wat he says. Which is selfish.

anyway, congrats to 43 inch on his results. think that nw, u are getting more religious. if tht helps in ya life, i sincerely feel happy for u. and for ck. haha. seems like u are rather dwn on luck lately. itz all KARMA!!!! wahhahahaha. And pang. ya bday on sunday. haha. ORD cum 21st bday. Tot u wld jio us go BOSS or something.

anyway, juz recieved letter from NTU, ask me fuck off again. Seems like i only 3 options left. SIM, NYP and NIE. i am keen on NIE. Cos while studying, still go $$ take. my fren ask me be PE teacher. Wat the hell man. i have enuff of sweating. I juz wanna be GTO. great teacher Ow! haha.

okie... shall update again b4 i book in.

Pasir Ris camp

2005-05-29T16:55:00.000+08:00

Oh well... finally... i've been posted to the camp i longed for since i came to medical center. Life's there is great so far. I can go do my own PT, den do medical center things, sometimes bk out to have supper. So shoik! Maybe itz becos my duties and covers havent really start. But itz ok. Cos i shan't regret my decisions. Best thing is i can bk in monday morning.

ok. shall tok abt my weekend. hm... fri came back do sleep. sat morning went for swimming and tanning. Den nite went to tiong bahru to have dinner den went orchard meet jx and frenz.. Hm... well, saw vanessa. she's so fake. i cant take it. why mus she act like as if we dunno anything. she think's all of us is like her bf so stupid. Hey gal, when i started walking, u are nt even born yet. After that went to weige's hse for chilling session with jx's cai and some frenz. Actually dun wanna go one. But was dragged into it.

anywayz, saw Emily on sat. haha. well she's still that ever pretty to me. And she have put on some weight which made her look better. Still the same old ah lian behaviour she has. haha.

hm.... recently nothing to do, browse here and there. Hm... saw something. well glad that the person is still doing well though the person might have met up with some hiccups in life. hm... well... actually i dun really hate the person tat much. but den, i realise only hatred can put a stop to it and that i can put them behind me and carry on with life.

Today basically zho bo the whole day. Zho bo till evening le. Waiting for things to happen.

Hm... well... wat must i do? shld i really go all out? i cant fall again.

Your estimated Service Balance is 300*.
Your projected ORD date is 19-Mar-2006*.
This record is updated on 23-May-2005.

I offended Suey Xin

2005-05-23T15:04:00.000+08:00

This week is a super suay week. I think i have offended god of suey in recent weeks. Do wat oso nt smooth. Do duty, keep kena activated. CB. All my duty, the report write till gao gao one. Hw suay did i get? For eg, my duty ends at 0730 on sat morning. But i got activated at 0710 to SAF ferry terminal. WTF? hw suay can i get? Nvm. there's still more la. So much till i dunno hw to elaborate.

Anyway, finally, i waited and waited and waited. Finally, the sms came! On Fri nite. hehz hehz hehz. Sibei sianz. Got so much to say. But lazy. Suan le. The more things said, the more ppl read, the more i get fucked. so :-x

Fuckin bad week

2005-05-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

well, this week has been far from good. In camp, i have so much loads of shit to do. So much so that my offdays this month will be diff to claim. Den seems like my jouney to PRC wld be delayed. I am sick and tired of life in there. Every day do the same old fucking admin stuff.

den, i recieve letter from nus that i am rejected yet again. Fuck your la cb. cant your juz gimme a chance? NNBCB!

and oso, if u are reading this, u better shut the fuck up and don pose any more problems.... u think only u have temper one ah. My patience is wearing thin.

the only good ting is Commandos did it again.! whhooooooo! best combat unit 04/05

For Honour and Glory!!!!!!!

settled down.

2005-05-07T21:05:00.000+08:00

Finally, my work in medical centre has toned down a bit. The work needed to be done dosent look as messy as in the past. At least, i still can have a plan drawn out to wat's gonna be done. It doesnt look like itz nt gonna end like wat it did in the past. This period of time, i must say, i learnt a lot on my job scope in medical centre. However, physically, i suffered bah i guess. Cos never exercise much. Yupz, most of my 3rd coy frenz have gone to PRC, inevitably, there's a sense of loneliness in the medical centre. BCS da club doesnt have their usual customers, dispense has quieten down, Medical store is nt even opened for service lately. And i have been doing duties and covers till i quite shag these 2 weeks. I guess all these pressure and shagness will gimme a better tolerance to the working world in the future.

Well, on thurs, played basketball with my brothers. Like usual, such times is the most stressless, cheapest and happier times we have. It was fun when we can suan each other, and see each other do stuns. wahha. Den went for supper and den the usual tok cok sessions. Supper and tok cok sessions are the most relaxed things when we do together. Den oso heard a lot of new updates in our lifes.

Fri, went to watch Kingdom of heaven. I am shocked. This is the 1st time i fell asleep in a movie. I watched 1hr, den slept 1 hr and watched the last hr. It was a good movie. But i guess i am jus too shagged le after didnt sleep much for past few days. And on this day itself, someone did somthing that pissed the brotherhood off again. Though we expected it, but we juz cldnt take the rubbish anymore.I shall elobarate more later.

Well, today, doing duty again. Knn. nvm. Den saw my ex 5th coy PL 13 fren, dominic. Well, tok to him the whole morning. Told me abt his life and enlighten me more on the trainings of oversea's commandos. Felt good. Den today duty, i like do nothing. Everything let my fellow duty do. LOlz. felt kinda guilty.

The brotherhood.
Hm.. heard a lot of updates on wong. Heard wat he have done. Well boy, u are improving and i am glad that u are still fighting hard for the chicken rice war. Same goes to cheekin. i noe, u might juz nick it silently. For me, i am still a long way. Felt quite loss. And their recent progress have inevitably caused some pressure on me. Cos i dun wish to lose this war. Maybe i shld buck up.

And recently, i have heard somethings abt exploitation. Hm.. among frenz, wat exactly is exploitation? Is help considered exploitation? How do we define exploitation? I dunno. I only noe that gd frenz will help each other in times of need. Prevent knife stabs for each other. Well, if the brotherhood itself didnt feel a sense of such things, why the hell a 3rd party thinks this way when the person is nt even part of us? does the person noe that the brotherhood cannot be measured? Maybe this sums up the person's own life.

The new Jing Tian Yi

2005-05-02T00:30:00.000+08:00

haha. okie. let me start off with my ns 1st. Lately, i have been really busy with my work as a medical store 2ic. Cos the ic is nt ard, and there's an inspection coming soon, i am left alone to clear all the shit. Den suddenly, i found myself being Jing Tian Yi. Doing all the troubleshooting of the stores. Solving all sorts of discrepencies.FInding who and when the fucking thing happened. Traced the past records, called the former store ICs. Kinda felt good when some difficut shit was solved. But still the huge amt of shit still overwhelmed me. Nvm, this week is another battling week for me. And ya. i have 5 fucking duties this month. and quite a lot of covers. including a 3 day 2 nite boat cover which i went b4 last yr liaoz. and this yr, i have to go again. Fucking cb dulanz. Nvm. Perservere. Cos i am going to PRC permamently le! WoooOOo!Bye Bye 2nd coy. Your will get ya karma.

okie. lately, have been glued to fann wong's drama. 1st, Fann's just too hot. I dunno why, i am just attracted to her, in all ways. Because of her, i nite's off oso never go. Lolz. Sound like a pervert.

And ha, the weekend came. Fri, went to play basketball with my bros after i bk out. Den go hm use com. Sat, went to play soccer with Pang and his frens at republic poly. Whether was fucking hot. Den nite went to bugis with Pang to eat dinner and walk walk. Den, went to the cheers behind the bugis bustop to buy cigarettes. The stupid cashier ask me for my IC. -_____-" pissed off. Den kena dua by kenny to orchard, say go watch movie, den when i on bus, den tell me say go chiong. -__________-" nvm. met up with jx, steamy and qh. Went to watch a fucking lame movie at cine. Shikoku. Supposed to be a horror movie but it turned out to be more like a romance film. Lolz. Den saw steam with his RX8. I was like 'whoah!' haha. And recieved the present for my bday from jx and co. Lolz. Thanks. Most ex pressie i ever recieved. A DKNYwatch. Thanks. Den go hm.. Fucking bro dun wanna sleep. Keep toking on the phone, moving in and out of the room. Den i cant sleep. Somemore still need to wake up at 0530 to go back camp do duty. And my bro seems like he's doing bookmaking. Maybe i shld call the police.... LOLZ!

Lolz. I was late for Duty. I reach med ctr at 0800. I left hse at 0610. Den took 123. Fell alseep. Wake up liaoz already nearing orchard. So need to go sommerset instead of Tiong Bahru to take mrt. Den when reach sommerset, i need to wait 8 minutes for the train to city hall. Nvm. Den when i reach sommerset, i need to wait 9 mins for the train to tampanis. NNB. by the time i left city hall, it was 6.50 liaoz. den i reach tampanis at 0720. Saw both bus 19 and 29 gone liaoz. Huat ah! waited another 10 minutes for the bus. In the end reach camp at 0800. lucky the senior medic still sleeping. Lolz. Den spent most of the time doing my stores. Quite peaceful. Cos no turn-out. Yea!. Den went to sleep at 3 am. Toking on msn. Den 0800 wake up again to go hm. Nw, preparing to go back liaoz.

Hm... Fri nite and Sun nite and now! is making me a happy man.

328 days to ORD.

My 1st r21

2005-04-24T19:38:00.000+08:00

Well, last week was relatively good. Time passes quite fast. Got to book out quite often though i didnt. Cos i am glued to Fann's show at channel 8 everyday weekday at 9pm. Wahha. Well, got a bunch of person came down to test our familiarity with the new ambulance. Well, the remarks given to us was, 'Superb'. With my fren chongji, whois going to spec 2, doing particularly well. Was a little surprised tat he did it so well, or rather, i was impressed.

Anyway, congrats to wei ge and kenny for going thru the preliminaries of the channel u competition. And jx, dun be sad, u are good too, juz inexperienced.

Sat went to k-ge with jx, kenz they all. Den nite, me and jx went to watch our 1st r21 show. The title, 'Summer Stroke' We all tot it was some hot show with lotsa gals. But we were wrong. It was a fucking GAY show. Guys kissing and fondling each other. Knn. The worst part was, 2 guys, 1.35am, watching a gay show. KNN.

And my brother jx seems like he's getting luck with a gal lately. But jx, dun take my words seriously. Though Fat is a crime, but fatties can always be repentant by slimming down. Those who are fat and dun make an effort to slim down are those who are sinful. And tim, heard alot abt ya plague this weekend. Well, we all noe wat kind of person she is. Dun worry, we are on ya side. But nw i am glad to heard that u have punished her. Nw everything is up to u le. Going to book in lo!

329 days to ord..

hm... My week...

2005-04-17T16:53:00.000+08:00

Well, my week went rather dull. Only bad news and more bad news. Went back to camp on tues nite and discover i had duty on wed and fri. Den nowadays, duty quite sux. So many things to check. Den my store, so much things to do. Itz in a big fucking mess. Den only i can do everything. No one can help oso. Sibei sianz. Den didnt really do much this weekend. Have been sleeping more than doing anything. Anyway, Hell week for SOF starts today. Guess that nx week wld be another busy week for medical center. -__-"

Hm... Quite touched that my brother wong was willing to help me take a letter to NYP. I have to submit this fucking letter by 19th. But weekends, nyp are not opened. Lucky he willing to help. Wong Zai, ai si ni le. *^-^ winkz*

and ya... heard that guards got recon 2b for stage 2. meaning, now only left 1sir is neck to neck with us. But watever it is, i cant march in the ndp! fuck!. fucking mo. cb. knn. all the empty promises made to us. So wat even if we got the best combat unit? All the hardwork we put in, our request is not even granted. fuck up.

cant wait to ord....

Forgiveness

2005-04-12T02:27:00.000+08:00

Forgiveness

Jesus said to turn the other cheek

He also said to forgive 7 times 70

Easy for Him to say

He was God

Or at least the son of God

How do I get to the place

Where I forgive those

Who disrespect me and malign me

Those who could care less about my feelings

Yet I still care about theirs

Why is forgiveness so hard

Why does it take so much out of you

Why is it easier to hold on to a grudge

Rather than to let it go

Am I doing something wrong

If it is true that we are to love others

As we love ourselves

And we stay mad at ourselves

For our misdeeds and misdoing

Is it realistic to easily forgive someone

If you extend the olive branch

Of friendship and kindness and forgiveness

And it is not returned

Should you really keep trying

Even if you feel it is a lost cause

Or will persistence win the day

With the honesty and sincerity of words

Be recognized and acknowledged

Followed by a reasonable attempt

To let bygones be bygones

Is this one of the famous battles

Between head and heart

With both having opposing views

But the same hold on your psyche

Neither winning, neither losing

Sometimes I wonder

If our lack of ability to forgive

Is truly more rooted in our

Bruised ego and hurt feelings

Perhaps the pain we feel is comforting

If I were to release my anger and my pain

Only to be knocked again

Who becomes the bigger fool

Me for trying

Or them for doing

I wish that such matters were as easy

As a game of tic-tac-toe

Or perhaps it is

Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose

Neither happens if you don’t take a chance

So I resolve to forgive

To be the bigger and better person

Give of myself as I would want others

To give to me

And perhaps this time everyone will win.

Chuck Smoot

September 1, 2002

I'm Sick.

2005-04-11T13:59:00.000+08:00

Hm... finally went back to Hendon to resume my normal NSF life. But FUCK! Go back, fri got parade liaoz. Den need to reharse and reharse. Den fucking medical center, need to learn the fucking ambulance. Den my store is in a mess, And my store ic has gone to South Africa to cover AMFF. Den my trip to thailand on 9th may is cancelled. KNN. Doc don let us go. WTF? Lucky i am on MC till tues. Dun wish to go back and suffer. But i didnt chao geng. i am genuinely sick. Guess that the constant exposure to those sick fucks in the medical center finally made me sick too. Everyday expose to their germs and bacteria, of course will sick. But weekend was boring. Treat Weige, Kenz, JX and Zhihao to cafe cartel. Lucky pay day liaoz. And oso, soccer sibei suay. Always lost $ to last minute gols. lucky sunday nite, last 5 games all jackpot. or else can go jia sai liaoz. This has been the boring updates of my recent life.

However, i can sense that this boring lifestyle will come to a halt very soon. Cos i finally can see a goal. And this time, i wont be like last time... Goal in front of me oso dun shoot. In the end, let ppl tackle and shoot it in. If this time i really goes into this game, it will be 100% all out and nothing less. More aggressive and ruthless. (Doubt anyone wld understand wat i am saying. Maybe only my purmei bros will get wat i mean.)

Hm...Something caught my attention this weekend. Its a phrase. A phrase which i made up a lot of meanings from it. I asked my frenz for their opinions. Diff ppl came up with diff meanings. Well, in the end, i juz let it be. Cos i find it no longer impt anymore. So hack it.

Don't Look Back

As you travel through life there are always those times
When decisions just have to be made,
When the choices are hard, and solutions seem scarce,
And the rain seems to soak your parade.

There are some situations where all you can do
Is simply let go and move on,
Gather your courage and choose a direction
That carries you toward a new dawn.

So pack up your troubles and take a step forward -
The process of change can be tough,
But think about all the excitement ahead
If you can be stalwart enough!

There might be adventures you never imagined
Just waiting around the next bend,
And wishes and dreams just about to come true
In ways you can't yet comprehend!

Perhaps you'll find friendships that spring from new things
As you challenge your status quo,
And learn there are so many options in life,
And so many ways you can grow!

Perhaps you'll go places you never expected
And see things that you've never seen,
Or travel to fabulous, faraway worlds
And wonderful spots in between!

Perhaps you'll find warmth and affection and caring
And somebody special who's there
To help you stay centered and listen with interest
To stories and feelings you share.

Perhaps you'll find comfort in knowing your friends
Are supportive of all that you do,
And believe that whatever decisions you make,
They'll be the right choices for you.

So keep putting one foot in front of the other,
And taking your life day by day...
There's a brighter tomorrow that's just down the road -
Don't look back! You're not going that way!

For all my frenz who cant seem to let go of their past.....

My brains

2005-04-03T17:36:00.000+08:00

http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler

Your Brain Usage Profile:

Auditory : 26%
Visual : 73%
Left : 47%
Right : 52%

ow, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional

wahHhha i am back from taiwan.

2005-04-01T19:09:00.000+08:00

haha. finally, i am back from taiwan. It was a long trip. Well, i wanted to write any diary of my overseas trip, juz like wat i did when i went to brunei. However, this time rd, i cant rmember the daily happenings as well as when i was in brunei. Maybe i am less motivated and enthu now. However, this taiwan trip is a lot relax than in brunei. The living conditions are so much better. Finally, we lived in a bunk. Nt a chicken Coo. Hm... lets see... I shall elaborate abt this taiwan atec trip.

Well... this atec trip was a whole new experience. i've got to experience a lot of things. Like fighting mission in the cold. when i say cold, its 4-10 degrees in the nite. everyone's freezing. Me and my platoon mates were shivering during a pre-atec mission. We were made to wait for one hr in that mission on e top of 'Shiling fuo Shan'. Me and 2 other guys were shivering like hell. The wind was so cold. And we only wore a t-shirt and no.4. Furthermore, our sweat makes us colder when the cold wind blows. Anyway, there aint much sweat, cos itz too cold! And oso, this taiwan trip, i need to adapt to the ever-changing temperature. Cos when there's no cold front, the weather can be pretty hot. And when the cold-front comes, we wld be freezing. Hm... and oso, the mountain at taiwan kills. Its all very high. And itz up-slope and more up-slopes. But luckily, there aint much bashing. I must say that the people there are very respectful of soldiers. They will always say, 'xin ku le' whenever they see u. Children will run ard and shouting, 'ah bing ge! ah bing ge!' haha These are the scenes that keeps u motivated and move on. When u noe tat wat u did are appreciated, u will move on. Nt like singapore, they dun give a fuck. Or rather, they will give stupid comments. Well, taiwanese gals were said to be very chio.. But thats nt really the case la. On tv, those la mei are really very chio. but on the streets, all looked very normal. And i realised something. Taiwanese goes for tall guys. SO SHORTIES! STAY AWAY FROM TAIWAN. Wahhaa. Well, the things at taiwan aint that cheap. For branded goods, its more expensive that singapore. But there are really lotsa things to eat. And lotsa fun things to play. Hwever, kao shiung is a boring place. Very boring! I realised that taiwanese, their pace of their lives are quite slow. they open their shop whenveer they want. do things very slowly. Lolz. okie so much abt taiwan. Now, i shall talk abt atec

Atec 2005
Well, so much was said of commandos. So much was expected from commandos. So much was heard from commandos. We went to taiwan vigilantly. Enemies were curious to see hw we fight after they heard so much from our last atec. But in the end, we turn out to be a flop. A huge flop. Atec enemies laughed at us. I am disappionted and angry. Cos i dunno wat is happening with us. our guys didnt seem motivated at all. They seem like kids holding a rifle during missions. They didnt noe wat to do. They werent aggresive. All the talks of getting recon 1 at taiwan... None came true. The most disappointing of all were SRT. They were a flop. SRT used to be a premium force. Cos they cant afford to get caught. If they do, our routes to the objective wld be known. In the past, if SRT get caught, berets wld be revoked. More if lenient, they wld at least get 7 extras. This yr, the whole jim bang were caught while they were sleeping. So wat shld be given to them? they caused so much of the comany's mission to miss the H-hr cos they cant link up with the companies. they didnt do their job. But in the end, we got a recon 2A. i didnt noe how we do it. but we got it. Maybe special thanks must be give to 3rd coy (most junior ops company) who got recon 1 in their 2 missions. Congrats to them for getting best ops company. For me, i am disappointed to miss out the last mission. cos can take pic with beret on. wahha.

My birthday.
Okie, i spent my 21st bday at taiwan. i wanted to juz go on with it quietly. Well, i was disappointed to have bday at taiwan. somemore, my 21st. cos i cant really celebrate with my close frenz. Nevertheless, my bday was still exposed. By HQcsm. And at 25th, the nite of we have our end of frame dinner, i was made to go up the stage to sing with a lady in front of the battalion. fwah so pai sae!. but hack it. the rest seemed invinsible to me. Lolz. Come back to sg, oso nt more mood to celebrate le. so juz forget it lo.

Its good to be back in Sg again. i missed everything here while i was in taiwan. maybe, they call it homesick.

Aftermath of DBL O

2005-03-05T15:27:00.000+08:00

A drunk cheekin.

Taiwan

2005-03-05T14:59:00.000+08:00

Finally, this day has come. Today, i am going to depart to Taiwan for my Atec. My 2nd overseas training in my NSF life. I hope that after this atec, when i come back, there wldnt be any more big events lining up for me. Cos itz high time tat i wanna do my own things. Things like learning bike, keeping fit, etc. And after i come back, i will have less than 369 days to my NS. Cant wait to Ord. To dye my hair again. To skip sch again, to be back to normal lifestyle. I missed my teens, and this yr i am turning 21. 21 seem to signify adulthood. I want to stay young 4-eva manz. Be a kiddo. I don wanna shoulder so much responsibility. Haiz.

Well. This week has been a rather interesting week for me. Went to an interesting place on wed. really enjoy myself. Den went to dbl o yesterday. Well, i muz say, itz a very nice place. And my brothers had a hell of a time drinking. It was fun. A few hrs of worry-free time. Cos each of us have some unsolved problems in life.

Well, i wish all march birthday babies happy birthday while i'm in taiwan.

Take care and adios!

Itz been a while.

2005-02-27T18:04:00.000+08:00

Hm... itz been a while since i last blogged. Well as usual, my life at medical center have been busy like always. We slogged day and nite for it. Working so hard without much sleep. Adapting to the required changes. But wat do i get in return? An extra duty for having too much cancellations in my duty sheet. WTF? If i aint doing my job, there wldnt be any cancellations at all. So i got punished for doing work? Fuck the senior medic. But if really he's gonna gimme the the extra, i will definately fight for my stand. Cos why? I told myself that i wont get a single extra tru-out my NSF life. And i want to live to it. Anyway, took a medical profiency test last week. Scoring 83%. Haha. kinda proud of myself. Why>? We didnt really have much time to prepare for it. The most i expected was a pass. So 83% comes as a surprise to me. Hm... and there are so much birthday babies this mth. Made my wallet burn a big hole. Haha. Yea. i am still saving up for my trip to ROC, and for my 21st bday celebration when i come back from ROC. Kinda moody. Cos i am going to ROC soon, and i dunno wat to pack. Nvm. sure got a way out.

Happy birthday to these ppl!
Wen Xian (23) 02 Feb
Qiaoling (24) 09 Feb
Huiqi (21) 23 Feb
Wenjie (21) 23 Feb
ZhiWei (21) 29 Feb

~Wish List~
- wallet
- a tottenham jersey (i am gonna get myself tat for my 21 bday)
- oakley sunglasses
- watch

My Chinese New Yr

2005-02-16T21:52:00.000+08:00

Hm...My Chinese New Yr has been rather plain.. Nothing really much happened. I had a boring reunion dinner. I didnt go for visiting. Juz rot at hm and go out every nite. Quite a dull CNY. Only went for KTV and a mini majong session. Went for my fren's 21st bbday on sunday. Saw some old sch mates. But his party was too plain for a rich guy like him. And for VDAY? I spent it with my campmates in medical center doing sai gang. Tues, CMC came. Didnt screw us as badly as CAMO did. Den today, went to PRC. Its a nice place. I love it. But tml got route march. Sibei sianz. Medical center is getting stressful.

Seduction

2005-02-16T21:49:00.000+08:00

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Happy Chinese New Yr to everyone

2005-02-09T00:39:00.000+08:00

Well.. been sometime since i blogged. Well. Medical Center is changing. And we need to adapt to the change. From a commando medical center, itz been slowly transforming into service medical center. We no longer do things the commando way. Instead, we now need to do things in the law-by-law way. Going by directives and stuff. Slowly, the medical center dosent seem like it belongs to us. It becomes a center where we work. Nt a hm anymore. And oso slowly, crack between the ppl there is slowly showing. For me, itz obvious, cos i dun hide my feelings. And i will say out his name. Soo Meng Siong. Crazy fuck who thinks he's very big size. Do a bit of things, like as if he did a lot. crazy fuck who uses muscles to think.

yea. for those reading this. i am going zouk on wed nite. staff wong's hse on fri nite. sat duty. sun go tim suan's hse. so wanna book me go out, pls book accordingly. yea.

Happy Chinese New Year.

bored..

2005-02-01T21:29:00.000+08:00

Hm.... Kinda sianz... nothing much really happened these few weeks. Juz that maybe there are some good news and bad news. Good news is that i passed my SOC, got all my clothings for CNY and Wong Zai for finishing 3rd in his archery. Bad news is that medical center is getting really busy nowadays and that we had to clear up the shit left by our senior x 10. FUcking shit. Its like digging for fossils and u found that there are so much shit in it. Medical center is facing a dramatic revelation. A total transformation. And week in week out, there are ppl coming to medical center to fuck us and stir our shit. So everytime they come, we juz need to bend and spread our legs and let them tear our arse apart. Nowadays, when i saw the IPPT gold badge on my fren's no.4, i tot to myself, is there any chance i can get that? maybe i shld go for some serious training and give a shot at it. but too bad. i am juz too lazy. anyway, while i was doing duty today, one of our MO actually came inside the room and we had a long chat. Surprisingly, tat MO was one of those that like to stir my shit most. But the chat made me realised a lot of things.
Can see that he will miss commando...

My week

2005-01-23T12:37:00.000+08:00

OKie. 1 wk ago, i went to national stadium. I witness the day when the lions lifted the Tiger Cup again. I felt so happy for them. I can feel the passion for local football is back. Why? the stadium is full hse. This is the 1st time i went to national stadium to see a full hse. The 1st time i see a s'pore game in the south entrance. The whole stadium is red. It was a beautiful spectacle. And wats best? The lions beat indonesia again but this time, in front of their own ppl. 3 Cheers for the lions.

Hm.. in the last week, we had our last falcon series. For me, i am quite fortunate. It was nt as shag as i tot. everything went smoothly. and we went for our well deserved break.

Ate sizzler on wed nite. It was ex, but it was really filling. And nt bad la. But wats most impt is the company.

Fri went to play soccer and shop. Bought a pair of jeans.

Sat went to town for a while and went hm watch soccer.

Sun. rotting.

Lately have been thinking abt the past. And if only i can turn back time, there's so much things i wanna amend. So much things which i wanna do which i didnt do. If only i can turn back time.

THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TELL A GUY

If you see me walking the road with someone
else It's not because I like his company
Its because you're not brave enough to walk
beside me.

If you hear me talking about him all the time
Its not because he pleases me
Its because you're too deaf to hear my
heartbeat

If you feel me falling with someone new
Its not because I love him
Because you're not there to catch me fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we gonna cross each other's path
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound

Don't let me walk with him
It's you I want to walk with
Don't let me talk of him
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall for him
It's you I want to fall in love with.

HOW THE GUY REPLY

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk
beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe because of the beauty
that stands before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your
heartbeat I didn't want to assume anything
And I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn't there to catch you
It was because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the bottom, you've already
grabbed a branch

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am
lost I too don't know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we gonna cross each other's path?
Will we just let go of what we had
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don't let me talk of something else
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall for someone else
It's you I want to fall in love with.

Something i cut and paste from my fren's blog.

wahha. That's my bloodgroup

2005-01-21T01:54:00.000+08:00

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

My Soul

2005-01-16T13:14:00.000+08:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2004 review

2005-01-16T12:46:00.000+08:00

I noe. This might sound too late. But seeing some of my frens doing this, i cant help but want to do it too. Thats my 2004 review. Generally 2004 hasnt been a good yr for me. Hm... Can be said a bad yr.

Jan
Finally fucking A levels finished. Tot can finally relax my mind, but she came back to my life again.

Feb
Got kicked out of hse by Dad. Had a memorable vday. Had a clean break with her.

Mar
Had a misunderstanding with a very gd fren and thus friendship tarnished. Had a very enjoyable 20th bbday.

April
I am enlisted.

May.
Nothing special.

June
Walked the 35km route march. Got my Corporal rank. Went to SMM to learn to be a medic.

July
Had my best army days. The most enjoyable one. At Nee Soon.

Aug
Passed out as Commando Medic. Returned to Hell. Ran the 21km AHM tat nearly took my life. Start of airborne course.

Sept
Aiborne course finished. Went for my first 3 jumps.

Oct
Went to brunei. Learnt to grow tru hardship.

Nov.
Walked the 72km. Got my Red Beret. Went to Medical Center.

Dec
Again. Maybe my mistake causes my friendship with my frenz to tarnish.

Somethings, only time will tell.

2005-01-02T13:58:00.000+08:00

hm... Frankly, at the very last bit of 2004, i wasnt a happy man. Even now, itz still tat way. Yea. i made a gamble. I didnt noe if it really paid off. But, seems like it doesnt. Sometimes, i really didnt noe how to explain somethings. Some of my actions. I noe sorry is never enuff. Ppl might say, sorry is always the hardest word. But i felt, it isnt. Feeling sorry is the hardest thing. I felt sorry abt wat i did to my brother. But i never ever felt sorry abt the consequences that came along. Cos itz a gamble. Some might think i was reckless. Some might think i was playful. Some might think i was all out to sabo. Some might think i was in for a show. Some might think i neber gave a serious tot to my actions. But if i say, most bit of wat i said was true, how many wld believe? If i said i really gave a tot to wat i've done, some wld ask me why? A question i find it hard to answer unless my gamble pays off. Wat i can say is that my actions wld be beneficial to my brother in the long run. Yes. maybe i didnt have the right to interfere. Yes maybe i shldnt. Yes, maybe i did it in a wrong way. But if my brothers really think tat i am to harm them, den i'm sad. Cos i am never someone who never stood up for my bros when unjust is done onto them. I never fail to be there whenever i can. I am someone who juz cant sit down there and see my bro in a fix. Maybe i gone a bit overbroad by making other ppl's problem become my problem. But sometimes when i sat down to think abt it. I realised there was neber once i fought for my own cause. Maybe a lot lies in implusiveness. I dont noe. I wish i can change. Whatever it is, i will continue to fight back my creditbility. To try to make things be back to normal. but i noe itz hard. Watever it is, if sorry can solve everything, i don mind saying sorry a million times. And to all other unconcerned ppl out there. IF U ARE PLANNING TO STIR MY SHIT ON THIS ISSUE, U BETTER THINK TWICE. COS I WONT GIVE FACE AND I CAN TELL U I AINT GONNA JOKE ABT THIS.

Hm.. the countdown at sentosa was disatrous. NO fireworks. NO foam party. Juz the stupid sg idols performing. argh. waste of my time and money. Shld have went clubbing instead. The 2005 marks the start of a busy yr. I am going to have a lot of exercises till Atec. In taiwan. In march. Yea maybe i am gonna spend my 21st bday there. No party this time. -_-"

colour of u

2005-01-01T15:22:00.000+08:00

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughtful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

Merry X'mas

2004-12-25T17:32:00.000+08:00

Hm... have been really busy this few weeks. Lots of things to update. HM... lets break them down.

Medical Center
Well this 2 weeks at medical center is really busy. Have been doing a lot of covers and medical duties. Seen some shocking things that happen in the medical center. Hm.. Lets start off at my cover for 'exercise seahorse'. Its a 3day 2 nite cover for the boatmen. well. in some sense, the cover was shag. but it was fun too. I sat on the assualt boat and was moving in the middle of the sea. Saw many islands. eg., sisters' island, sentosa, etc. A very good sight. Moving at a very high speed, our assualt boat was constantly hit by the waves, and my bum hurts a lot. cos the impact was very big. Well, going to sea horse made me skipped the battalion mission. heard from my pals that oc3 hollanded and they walked for very long. Phew~ well, last friday, our bookout day, i expected a peaceful day and an early bookout. But it was not. We had 2 CRF casualities who were sent to the medical center. One bcos of heat cramps. the other with a fractured right wrist. Both were of shocking sights. The heat cramp guy had his muscles all tensed up. he was in pain and cant speak. tears flowed. To me, itz always very diff for a guy to shed tears unless he's in major pain. The other guy had his wrist fractured after falling from the reppelling tower. there was a lot of blood. Both came to a shock to me cos i never been across more serious real life case. Oso, i did a 2day 1 nite cover for COCC(commando officer conversion course). Well, my partner, a medic from PRC(nt a cdo medic) was a nusisance. keep irritating me with stuffs he say. but he's a good guy la. always offering me food and helping me do stuffs. he's juz those kind of guy tat does wrong things without knowing it and u juz cant blame him. Yupz. The COCC was boring. But itz nice to see the shag faces of the officers. they tried to put up a brave front in the early stages but, 72km is always 72km. well, i sprang into action for a captain after he sprained his ankle. tied a bandage for him and gave him pain killers. like i said in the past. 'no matter how much pain there is, u still need to walk.' well at the 60 km rest pt, i saw a familiar face. A 2nd coy officer. Joey's fren. he was lagging behind. he seemed bery shag. i remembered telling him tat 72km is no joke 1-2 mths ago. but at tat moment of time, he doesnt seem to believe me. or maybe he is overconfident of himself. but he still struggled tru. but who wont? further more, there's a CORPORAL who walked the 72km sitting in the rover looking at them. So i doubt any officer will fall out. And ya. christmas eve, our senior medic made all the medics say back to look for his 11B. -_-" fuck him!

My good fren and his relationship.
Hm.... i am witnessing a triangle relationship here. Somemore, itz my brother(nt real brother), a gal whom he knew tru me, and another gal who i juz knew recently. all 3 are somehow related to me. but this makes me starts to think abt relationships again. wat is a stable relationship? how long does it build one? can i resist to temptations? i dunno. but in relationships, sometimes itz better if one dosent noe too much. and oso itz always impt 'to clean ya mouth after u eat'. so my brother hurt his gf when they broke up for one reason or another. after they patched, he hurt another gal. well, so who's to blame? i dunno. i decided to wash my hands off it. but itz really disappointing to see ya brother doing these things. itz as good as seeing my brother stealing things or beating up ppl. dont wish to elaborate cos it isnt save to blog anything abt it down here. but i juz wanna share my food of tot.

My Christmas
Hm.... i looked back to last yr's christmas. It wass a funny xmas. I looked at the photos and clips we took during last yr's xmas. wahha. we did some funny stuffs. though we didnt do much, but itz still a nite to remember. esp me in my dyed hair. i still need to wait for 1 yr 4 mths b4 i can dye my hair again. well this yr's xmas, wat did i do? i was doing duty in medical center. didnt feel any festive mood. turned out by both DOs. WTF. Son of the bitch. Xmas eve still wanna turn out. FUCKERS. actually i tot the duty's gonna be shag for me cos i was doing with Xiongzz. But i was wrong. haha. he did a lot of things to my surprise. Like packing lunch, going for the turn-outs. wahha i'm surprised. and he didnt complain at all! seems like our Xiongzz have become more responsible le. LOLZ. think he will stir my shit again when he sees this blog. and today is christmas. wat did i do? nothing. all my brothers are nt ard. -_-"

ATP

2004-12-12T17:02:00.000+08:00

well... i had my atp on fri and sat. for those who dosent understand, itz a range test. Test whether u can get marksman a not. Hm.. history has shown, i've been a BOBO shooter since BMT. it took me 4 test b4 i pass during bmt.(but well, i got marksman in the last test). And again, my bobo shooting got the better of me during friday. I wasnt even qualified to take the test on fri cos i keep failing the day practice. scoring like, 2/16, 3/16, 5/16 & 6/16. But each test, my score was getting better. SO, sat had to confine. Reached camp at 12am at fri, bathe, etc, slept at 1am. Woke up at 5 am again to go for the stupid range. SHAG! Morning again practise. I scored 8/16! 1st time passed. Second practise, i shot 7/16, but i had 3 rounds of IA. Dammit. Angered by the IA, i went to clean my gas regulator.(cleaning any parts of the rifle is somthing i hate to do). Den went for the trail test. i scored 10/16! woooOooo! I was very happy. But den, finally come the real test. B4 the test, S2 spoke to us. he said that if we don score at least 11/16 for the test, he will void the test, and will have to join 3rd coy for the atp package. FUCK! i was devastated. i never shot anything more than 10 b4. wtf. somemore the 3rd coy package falls during our leave! I was very sianz, cos i tot i'm dead meat.

THE TEST
After i drew my ammo, i went into the chamber. I was in the same lane as my fren, Xiongzz. He missed quite a lot of shot bcos of IA. Den he turned to me and told me, 'seems like i have to join u for the 3rd coy shoot liaoz.' FUCK. i havent even shoot, den he say such nonsense. i felt an adrenalin rushing inside me. I must pass! He got 8/16 for his shoot. Finally, my turn came. There i go. Foxhole with support. FUCK! i missed 2 shots. Foxhole is the easiest part of the test, something which we shldnt miss more than 1. argh. my morale was damn low. 2/4 for the 1st part. 2nd part. Prone without support. But we were given support of sandbag anyway. i got 3/4. Which was quite a good score to me. after part 2, itz 5/8. 3rd part, sitting or squating without support. my worst nightmare. most of the practise, i get 0/4. LOLZ. but this time rd, i got 2/4. A very good score in my case. Total, 7/12. meaning, the final part, i nid to get all 4 targets. we ran down 50 metres. load our mags, prepare to shoot. I was panting. I prayed. the 1st 2 target came up. 'boom boom' i hit both of them. I felt there was a chance. 3rd target came up. i prayed more than i aimed. 'boom', it went down. the last one went up, i prayed even more. the phrase 'do or die' came into my mind. In my heart, i said please. i took a deep breathe, and press the trigger. HA! the target went down! yea! 4/4! in total, i got 11/16! wooooO! no nid join 3rd coy~ i clinched my fist and celebrated silently.

But my fren Xiongzz did get his reshoot afterall. FUck. This isnt rite. He dosent deserve it. LOL!! But in the end, he got marksman.

The nite shoot was fairly easy. i got 11/12. so my total score is 22/28. i missed marksman by 2 shots. If only my foxhole got 4/4. but itz okie. cos i juz dun wanna come back reshoot again. and from a bobo shooter, i became someone 2 shots away from marksman. i felt pleased with myself. i dun care wat others said. esp Xiongzz. LOLz. anyway, in my own pt of view, i was happy with the overall shot. i did get an average mark. nt juz pass. :)

The Handshake.

2004-12-09T17:53:00.000+08:00

hm... monday went past relatively easy. Tues and Wed i had cover duties for the 'bravo' coy boatmen. they are a bunch of undisciplined brats. if i were the trainer, i wld have made sure they learn a hard lesson out from me. Anyway, the duty was a nice 1 indeed. Why? i got to sit at the jetty, enjoying sea breeze. Feeding fishes. Watching the training in the most relax fashion. But wat was the interesting pt was that, ex-CO came to the jetty to 'fang shen'. THere's a lorry of mussels and clams, he wld take them and release them to the sea. this is nt the 1st time i seen him did that. last time i saw him release prawns and crabs too. and the quantity released is a lot. he came on both tues and wed. everytime he come, he will go ard toking to ppl. on tues, he walked up to me and i said gd morning to him. he shook my hand, and chatted with me briefly. There was no airs on him at all. He's a colonel. i am a corporal. The way he tok to me was the type of like a senior talking to a junior. maybe i dunno how to phrase it, but i was happy. how many NSFs actually got to shake his hand? lol. But i shook twice. ^-^ On wed, he came again! den he saw me, we shook hands again. LOLZ. he said, 'fwah! u sign on cover medic ar? how come itz u again?' Lolz. A light moment that we shared. He den tell me to bring a book to read the next time. if nt, itz like very waste time to juz sit there and wait for things to happen. then he cracked another joke again. 'if nt, u can do pt here oso. i lead.' LOLZ. He den pass me and my fren some bread to feed the fishes. Cool. nice person isnt it?

anyway, i did enjoy the cover for boatmen. cos mon wed nite, i sat on the assault boat, and was outsea. we went ard some islands like ubin, tekong, etc. the view was very nice. the experience was new. heh heh. next time when i go ubin again, i can tell my friends that 'ive been here. in an assualt boat b4.' lolz!

hm... Once in a life time experience...

2004-12-05T17:11:00.000+08:00

Well, thursday, i had medical duties at medical center. woke up early in the morning, took a cab down to hendon. was suppose to reach medical at 7, but i reached at 7.07. Was supposed to do some cover for CTC's ippt. But when i reach there, surprisingly, there was no 1. SO i juz sat and waited for a while. Den Andy came, told me tat i have to cover for Boatman course's 1km swim. I brought my things there, praying every minute tat there's no accident or casualty. Finally, finished, i went back medical center and did my normal duty. Suddenly, during the evening, my senior medic told me that i have to send a private from IMH(woodbridge) to alexander hospital. Fuck. he told me to sit behind with the 'siao kia' during the trip. i was like 'wtf?'. And i heard stories tat he punched S3 b4 and took 5 man to pin him down. Nonetheless, i still made my way to IMH. When i reached the registration, and toking to the receptionist, there were 2 policeman tat walked up to me. Staring at the beret on my shoulder. they were saying, 'fwahh... hendon! hendon.' This is the 1st time i felt my beret being appreciated ever since i got it. Cos in hendon, the red beret is so common. Den i walked up ward 33A to find the 'siao kia'. WHen i reach the ward, the door was locked. i used force, etc. and the siao kias behind the door might think that i am actually the siao kia. anyway, only den did i realise there's a button at the side of the wall. nvm, i walk in, i was astonished to see so many 'mad men' ard. 20-30 of them. Den 'the siao kia' i was looking for, was brought to me by the staff nurse. Den he brought us to a rm where the siao kia can change. Suddenly the staff nurse left the room. left me and the siao kia. i wanted to leave to. he asked me to stay and close the door. i am sensing that something is wrong. while closing the door, i am looking for some potential weapons juz in case he try anything funny. i saw a broom. lucky he did nt try anything funny. but he keep making me worried by asking me walk in the front. i am scared that he might have an outburst or even ran away. Den we make our way to AH.

obviously, i did nt listen to my senior medic and sit in the back. i sat in the front with the driver and left the mad man at the back. and the fucking driver dunno the road to AH. -_-. i dunno oso. we spent quite some time at lost world b4 we hit the right direction. during this journey, we hit Yio Chu Kang. I saw the factory where my ex-loved use to work. Reminded me the times i sent her to work, pick her up after work. the happy days we had. but tat isnt impt anymore. okie lets see. during the journey to AH, me and the driver were toking halfway. den the siao lang walk up to us. we saw the rear mirror and was whispering to each other, 'eh.. lai liao... lai liao.' he den asked the driver, 'driver, did u ask me any question?' driver replied with a frantic 'no!' haha. scary moments. the siao kia went back and sit.

at the hospital, i was surprised at how siao lang actually recognised their fellow siao langs. me and this siao lang walk into SAF ward wearing no.4. but the other siao lang immediately noes that the guy standing beside me is the siao lang. and make frenz with him. i was shocked. y did they noe i am nt a siao lang n he is? we didnt do anything. Intuition maybe. And the MO at the SAF ward is a fucking big gayish fuck@!!!!!!!! argh! SiSSY ASS!

after that, we did some classified tings. and went back to camp.

a trip to remember