Thursday, September 14, 2006
hmmm... Went to visit my aunt these 2 days.. Felt sorry 4 her.. Struggling in pain, yet she doesnt wanna go yet.. Struggling so hard to make every minute count.. She's nt too old though.. only 59.. Looking at the situation, i cant help but kept thinking.. wat if tat is my mum?
Life is so fragile.. during chinese new yr, my aunt is still ok.. in a shortspan of 6mths, she's lying on the bed struggling to stay alive.. Maybe her biggest regret is not to be able to see her only son get married.. I start to think to myself.. Have i spent enuff time with my parents? Have i treat them well enuff? Have I been a gd son? Have i neglected them?
The answer is no to all... I hardly ever spend time at hm.. the only time i'm at hm is sleep.. i hardly ever get the chance to chat with them.. maybe less than 10 sentence a day? sometimes, me and my dad don even get to see each other. haha.. goodness gracious... and yup.. i didnt treat them nicely at all.. i am rude to them.. and at times, so disrespectful.. to them, i am deemed as the black sheep of the hse.. i am the only one who got caned in sch b4. i am e only smoker.. e only one retained.. the only guy who dyed hair b4.. the only guy with piercing.. i and the only child in the family whom did not graduate frm a govt uni.. Haha.. I always get very hurt when i learn hw useless i am in their eyes.. hw much i have disappointed them.. But i realised.. its my own fault to make them feel this way..
I remembered my bro, Wong said this to me b4.. 'y wanna continue like this with your dad? how much time more do u have with them?' this struck me tat time.. but i slowly forgotten it.. but nw, i hope i wont.. this time rd.. i want to do well in my studies.. my last chance frm my dad.. i cant disappoint anymore.. like he told me.. i am the only 1 left in the family tat they are still worrying abt.. i must deliver.. Nothing's gonna come into my way.. What i am doing nw will determine my next 5-10 yrs of my life.. i cant be a kid anymore.
wrote at**``~
